The Debut

Posted: April 23, 2014 in Friday Fictioneers

Copyright - Bjorn Brudberg

Rudolfo spent seven years training Mario. The man had come to him, begged him for lessons. “At his age?” Rudolfo thought. “Too old.” Still, he had taken him on. Tonight they debut as a duo. The first half of the evening went well, clapping, smiling, a woman wearing purple danced – alone. The crowd mainly consists of young beautiful women in tight dresses, hair done in chignons or hanging loosely on soft round shoulders. Rudolfo loves watching them. He takes a sip of beer. The song ends. Mario looks tired. A woman brings Rudolfo a perfect red rose. Him! Rudolfo! His eighty-year-old heart soars.

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Comments
  1. To get a red rose from a beautiful woman.. the perfect end for a perfect gig…

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    • Good morning Bjorn, Thanks for reading. My dad buys my mom a perfect red rose on their anniversary. They celebrated their 64th anniversary last year. They are “the perfect” couple – truly.

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  2. There is always hope, no? We often forget that our elders have dreams too. Lovely story.

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  3. It was the small details in this story that really brought it to life, like the dancing woman wearing purple and the description of the surrounding women. You took the time to really paint the scene. The last line truly made my heart soar as well! Amazing story with the wonderful message that it’s never too late to follow our passions!

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  4. Thank you, Adelie, I appreciate your noticing the details.

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  5. Sandra says:

    I liked both the message and the delivery. Nice work.

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  6. Horus says:

    You turned the pic into a video – saw the entire evening play in front of me.. excellent Alicia !

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  7. This was a lovely word picture. There was enough background info to help with understanding. I love happy endings. ๐Ÿ™‚

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  8. subroto says:

    It’s never too late to start learning especially with teachers like Mario. Lovely word portrait.

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  9. As mentioned above, the little details made it come alive. They both got something out of the experience, too.

    janet

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  10. Jan Brown says:

    A great story! I agree with other commenters who pointed out that you gave painted a detailed picture for the reader. Nice job ๐Ÿ™‚

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  11. Very good story with a very unexpected switch at the end that I had to read twice to get. Also an inspiration for we oldsters that surprising things may be possible, and for master and student too. Now, let’s hear more about the young beautiful women in tight dresses.

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    • Perry, thanks for reading The Debut (I finally got the spelling of the title corrected after it was pointed out this morning!!!). Glad you liked it and I say the heck with hearing more about the young beautiful women in tight dresses, I want to BE one of them. Cheers!

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  12. K.Z. says:

    aww that was really sweet! it’s just a rose but it means so much ๐Ÿ™‚

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  13. Lovely story, with an untterly charming ending. I love your parents’ anniversary red rose ritual, too.

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  14. Dear Alicia,

    It’s my firm belief that when one is too old to learn, it’s time to lie down, you’re already dead. Your story puts melody to my belief. Lovely story. I offer you a virtual (and perfect) red rose.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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  15. Aaaahh men, they are so easy! ๐Ÿ˜‰

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  16. Lucy says:

    That was sweet. Wow, 80 yrs old. Didn’t expect that one. Good job. Lucy

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  17. A warm tale. Lovely. I liked the way you reversed the adjectives when describing the women. That accentuated their wondrousness.

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  18. Shandra says:

    Love it! What a lovely warm story. Don’t we all want a bit of recognition…even the Olduns (or especially us old Uns? ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) thanks for the heart warm. Shandra

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  19. Amy Reese says:

    And a red rose for you for such a lovely story! Brava!

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  20. Nan Falkner says:

    Dear Alicia, Wonderful story you wrote! You really did paint a picture inside my brain and it was so exciting. Didn’t see the 80 year old getting the gal, but she did via one perfect rose! How romantic and well written. Thanks, Nan ๐Ÿ™‚

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  21. Ah! All that effort got a lovely reward. Lovely little slice of life!

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  22. draliman says:

    Good for Rudolfo! I knew I should have joined a band ๐Ÿ™‚

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  23. rgayer55 says:

    I guess this proves you’re never too old to learn. Unfortunately, my fingers don’t glide across the strings like they used to. Getting a rose would make my heart soar too. Well done.

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  24. This is really touching, and reminds me of a band I saw playing an underattended festival on an overcast day. They weren’t bad, either, until they murdered one of my favorite Beatle’s songs.

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  25. AnnIsikArts says:

    Great message. I’m 63, have voice training and sing solo. I of course, thoroughly applaud! I was a bit confused about who was the elder: Rudolfo or Mario. Nice story in only 100 words. Ann

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  26. Sun says:

    i love the red rose ending – perfection indeed! ๐Ÿ™‚

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