Safe

Posted: June 18, 2014 in Friday Fictioneers

These are my 100 words for Friday Fictioneers. I will be gone most of next week, but will do my best to read as many stories as possible. I love the variety of ideas that spring from the picture prompts.

PHOTO PROMPT  Copyright -Mary Shipman

Like a pack rat, Samuel carried a teddy bear, a bag of M&M’s, a can of tuna, his favorite book and his pajamas patterned with Nemo into the small storage space beside his bed.

Outside, wind howled. Rain slammed the windows. Trees swayed like monsters in a Maurice Sendak story.

Samuel heard his ever-hysterical mother scream his name above the racket of his father nailing plywood over the sliding glass doors.

“Come on,” he whispered to his kitten, “we’ll be safe in here.” Samuel gentled his pet into the room and followed.

By morning all was gone but one inside wall.

Advertisements
Comments
  1. Sandra says:

    That was very sad. I loved the phrase ‘gentled his kitten’ – so evocative.

    Like

  2. Quite sad. Love the trees swaying like Maurice Sendak’s monsters.

    Like

  3. Such a devastating, wonderful last line. You tell us all about the boy and his stuff and his cat and his parents, and then in one line you sweep them away. Amazing.

    Like

  4. What a devastatingly sad story.. so well written.. I can see Samuel not wanting to leave.

    Like

  5. Absolutely terrifying, and I especially liked how you focused on the child’s experience. It created a unique, albeit devastating, feel to such a disaster. Coincidentally, I’m reading this during a severe thunder storm- lights flickering and all that jazz. Did you plan this? 🙂 Very engaging and chilling story, Alicia!

    Like

  6. Very powerful story! I still hope they got away somehow. Very expressive of the feelings of childhood.

    Like

  7. Horus says:

    Oops – how quickly nature can change safety into disaster !

    Like

  8. Beautifully written, you did a wonderful job here. So sad, especially that last edition of the kitten.

    Like

  9. JKBradley says:

    A few of his favorite things. In the sadness of this story there is also such adorable innocence.

    Like

  10. Amazing that you can say so much in so few words. Well done!

    Like

  11. elappleby says:

    I loved the Maurice Sendak line. I have to be honest that I’ve never seen ‘gentle’ used as a verb before, and I can’t decide whether I like it or not. I’m going to have to have a little ponder…

    Like

  12. Alicia, Good story, well written. I’m going to be an optimist and say that Samuel is safe behind that one remaining inside wall. Detailed description that placed me at the scene. Well done. 🙂 —Susan

    Like

  13. Wonderful job of luring us into that space with Samuel, Alicia. So sad and jarring as the reader realizes what has happened. Wonderful!

    Like

  14. Jan Brown says:

    Very strong imagery and emotion. I hope it was Samuel’s inside wall that was spared.

    Like

  15. rgayer55 says:

    At least he’s got some M & M s. Very well written. I loved the child’s POV

    Like

  16. hugmamma says:

    Timing is everything…or is it…The Almighty’s intervention? Great story…

    Like

  17. Lucy says:

    That was so well written. And so sad. I have to assume that it was the wall that Samuel and his kitten were in that was spared. Anything else would be so tragic. Well done. Lucy

    Like

  18. draliman says:

    A very powerful story. I can’t help hoping that little Samuel’s hidey-hole is inside that one remaining wall.

    Like

  19. Teddy, tuna, M&Ms, book, pajamas – the cuteness of the little boy’s survival kit makes the devastation that follows all the more poignant. Well told 🙂

    Like

  20. Amy Reese says:

    What a terrifying ordeal to be left with just one wall. Great story!

    Like

  21. Alice Audrey says:

    That’s why I moved out of the Midwest. Tornado Season was more than I wanted to handle.

    Like

  22. I love the image of Samuel with all his emergency rations in his small safe space as the monstrous storm rages around him. The ending was a shocking contrast and very effective. Cleverly done, Alice.

    Like

  23. You’re making be blush!!! Thanks so much for your kind words.

    Like

  24. Kate Loveton says:

    This was very poignant. You did an excellent job of making us identify with that little boy.

    Like

  25. hafong says:

    Wow, electrifying! What happened to everyone???

    Like

  26. Tornados…stuff my dreams (nightmares) are made of! Great interpretation!

    Like

  27. Aathira says:

    Good one Alicia. I liked your take on the prompt!

    Like

  28. Sarah Ann says:

    Such a great build of atmosphere and a sense of trepidation in this. Samuel comes across as such a cutey. Pity it ends so badly for all of them.

    Like

  29. Nan Falkner says:

    Dear Alicia, Powerful story and there seems to be an awfully lot going on and you wrote it extremely well. Thanks for great entertainment! Nan 🙂

    Like

  30. MythRider says:

    Mine was make believe. But I know how devastating a storm can be.
    Nicely done.

    Like

  31. Lynda says:

    This is an awesome story.

    Having been through the storms of 2011 here in Alabama I should have channeled something from this prompt last week… Kudos to you for seeing what I could not!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s