Hog grass, spindle weed and seven spider eyes
are lined neatly beside the ancient bowl
carved by Jim the Cripple.
One more ingredient and Balenchia ‘s village will be saved.
Woolen skirt lifted high above her knees, she runs across the sand
to the pond where the Eedysed larvae hangs.
Nibble fingers pluck the moist tangle from its lair.
Balenchia races back.
Drops ingredients in the bowl in the exact order
listed on the papyrus scroll.
She chants. Drizzles cat blood on top.
Poultice done, Balenchia smiles.
The blanket over the door flips open.
Her brother announces, “All are dead.”
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Sounds like the plague is visiting Balencia’s village. Almost feel sorry she did not get to apply that poultice. Very atmospheric.
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Thank you!
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I wonder where the cat blood came from. I should say how she got it. 🙂 I like witch craft and rituals.
Lily
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Hard to get all the info. in 100 words. This was chopped down from 110. Thank you for reading and commenting.
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i can really visualize what’s going on. great imagery.
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Thank you for reading and taking time to comment.
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Dear Alicia, Excellent witchcraft story! CREEPY GOOD! Nan 🙂
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Thanks, Nan!
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Well.. I’m not sure if she was successful or not, but any good potion is made of disgusting ingredients.
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Nope, she was too, too late. Thanks for reading, Bjorn.
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All that trouble and too late to save everyone. Sounds like she knows her witchcraft. though. I hope she doesn’t try to bring everybody back or that could lead to trouble.
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Yikes! I hadn’t even thought of that! Thanks for reading and commenting.
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Balenchia feels so positive and determined, she is going to succeed. Which makes her brother’s flat statement all the more sad and galling.
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Thanks for seeing that – it was exactly what I was aiming for.
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Such rich language, Alicia. Great read. I thought it might be a cure, it was sounding so hopeful. I really felt the pangs of loss at the end. He was too late.
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Thank you, Amy. I always appreciate your reading and commenting.
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Until I read these comments, I was going in a different direction…tongue-in-cheek humor. I took it that Balenchia’s spell went awry. Instead of saving the village folk, she killed them. Shows you where my mind goes first…
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No! She didn’t kill them, she actually was Too Late. Thanks for all your thoughts on this.
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Sometimes there is no solution it’s late, we don’t need to hurry!
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Indeed! Thanks for your insightful comment.
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I wonder what spell she’ll weave from her tears, for there must be some after that race to heal, ending with the bald, “We failed” statement! Powerful stuff. 🙂
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Thank you! Your first line is a story in itself. Appreciate you comment.
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Dear Alicia,
Good use of a title. It does add a hundred words to your story. Perhaps witchcraft wasn’t the way to go about a cure. You can almost feel her disappointment at the end. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks, Rochelle, I appreciate your taking time to comment. Hope you’re having a lovely vacation. “See” you on Wednesday, Sept. 3rd.
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Alicia, Hope she can bottle it and keep it for later to help someone else. It’s a shame all that preparation was too late. Good description and well written. 🙂 —Susan
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Wouldn’t that be lovely? Thanks for reading. Alicia
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Oh, this is all very comforting. Where will we hide?
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There’s no place to hide. Somehow I think nature always wins.
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I could feel the tension and anxiety as she rushed to prepare the potion. Very well written, Alicia.
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Thank you. I think her heart was beating pretty fast. Glad you stopped by and commented.
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Didn’t run fast enough, eh. Frankly, a concoction like that might have done them in anyway.
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Possibly! Not sure I’d want it smeared on me. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.
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This is fantastic. Beautiful use of language and almost poetic in its flow. I have to admit, I thought Balenchia was the cause of the villagers’ deaths at first but it works even better the way it was intended.
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Thanks so much etienne. She was really trying her very best. Glad you enjoyed the intended meaning.Alicia
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I thought the person who told her the spell tricked her, but then realized that the title took that option away. I agree with the comments about the lovely language and the flat ending is very effective.
janet
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Thank you, Janet.
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I loved how the language was so incantatory at the beginning – “Hog grass, spindle weed and seven spider eyes” – of course, that quality was so apt given the context. The whole story felt so well realised.
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Thanks so very much for your lovely “review”. Alicia
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Woah. I was really into this – beautiful, lyrical words with a sudden, shocking ending. I’m sorry she didn’t make it in time. Well written.
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Thanks, Tiffany, glad you liked the story. I think she is quite disappointed, too.
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