This is my 100 word story in response to Rochelle’s wonderful picture. Thanks for keeping our minds working!
Edward has been lost for a month.
“Need to leave,” Suzanna says over the wind. “Mountain’s changing – blizzard tonight.”
“You’re right,” Jonathon says. “We gotta’ go. No food. Not enough warm clothes.”
Firelight illuminates the evening just enough to pack sleeping bags, crampons, poles.
Suzanne throws trash into the flames. “Lighten the load.”
Headlamps bright, they begin their descent, ice axes clattering against their packs.
Midnight. Coals barely alive. Edward, headlamp burning low, stumbles into camp.
Emaciated, he rummages through the ashes, mutters, “Food. Please, God, food.”
One blackened sardine can, a bird bone.
Edward collapses. Broken arm bent beneath him.
Poor Edward! Great job.
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Yeah! Poor guy! Thanks for reading. (This idea comes from a book about Douglas Mawson)
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Oh, wow! Great job! One of the best FFs I’ve read in a while!
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Caerlynn – you make me blush! So glad you liked The Search Party. Cheers.
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So sad! He arrived few hours late, and no hope now.
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Nope – no hope. Thank you for reading and leaving a comment. I appreciate your thoughts.
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Incredible what you packed in there, and kept alive through urgent style and meticulous attention to detail – so much that I wonder if it was purely research or you have been alpine climbing yourself..I grew up in Chamonix right in the mountains and everything you wrote rings absolutely authentic, as well as tense. Very exciting.
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Chamonix! I visited Chamonix when I was sixteen. A L-O-N-G time ago. It was beautiful.
I’m not an alpine climber, but I REALLY appreciate your thinking the details in the story a re strong enough to make you think so. Thanks so much.
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This reminds me of the book “into the void” but a less happy end.. I hope Edward still makes it.
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Thanks Bjorn! His chances seem quite slim, don’t they? Thanks for reading. I will check out “Into the Void”.
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I hope the other two make it down safely 😦 This flows so nicely, Alicia. I liked the headlamp bright/headlamp low image and feeling.
Ellespeth
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The headlamp idea came from the bright spot above the flames on the left hand side of the picture and seemed to compare life -bright light, and death – dying light. Thanks for reading.
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The heartbreak of being just a little bit too late after surviving an entire month! Not a pleasant death coming, either.
janet
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Nope. Although sometimes I think freezing to death is not one of the worst ways to die. Alicia
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You’re right, Alicia. I was thinking about starvation, but from your story, freezing would probably come first.
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what a very tragic ending… there’s a lot packed into the story and i very much enjoyed (perhaps “enjoyed” is the wrong word) the descriptions of Edward’s suffering
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Thanks for reading and commenting, K.Z. Snow + ice + wind + no food definitely equals a very bad end.
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poor edward. the best thing he could hope for is fall asleep before he freezes to death.
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Yes! That would be the best way to go.
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Dear Alicia,
Just a moment too late. How frustratingly sad. You wrote it well.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks, Rochelle!, hope you’re settling in after your vacation.
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I felt sucker punched at the end. Poor Edward. You did great, Alicia.
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Good! (I mean thanks!)
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I don’t think Edward is going to make it, just a few hours too late.
Claire
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Poor guy is definitely doomed. Thanks for reading, Claire.
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Wow! Such a terrifying predicament. Horrible timing for Edward and those who miss his rescue. Well done, Alicia!
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Timing is everything. Thanks for reading. Hope everything goes more than well for your daughter. As my mom says when I leave after a long visit, “I go through a happy lonesome.”
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Oh I fear it’s not a good ending. You make it so real. Are you a climber?
Lily
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No, not technical climbing by any means. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a reply.
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Tragic – all that time he was missing and it came down to just a few hours late. Great story!
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Thank you!
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So tragic, the mountains can be cruel. Who knows, if the others had waited for those extra few hours perhaps none of them would have made it. BTW I lived in the French Alps for a little while, and had the pleasure of visiting Chamonix too.
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I think that’s what the search part knew – without a doubt. The French Alps! What fun! Thanks for leaving a comment. Alicia
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Alicia, Tragic and realistic story. The others had little choice. It was a real life and death situation. Well written. —Susan
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Thanks so very much.
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Extremely well written. My favorite story based on this prompt.
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Blushing here. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
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So close, yet so far. Good work.
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Thanks!
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Alicia, you packed so much in here, well done. Feel so sad for Edward, fear he’s not going to make it
Dee
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Dee, I so appreciate your reading and leaving a reply.
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Sad! Very well written and you’ve captured so much in few words. Wonderful 🙂
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Shanx, I appreciate your kind words. Thank you, Alicia
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Great use of the prompt in this one, Alicia. This is why I will never try mountaineering. I feel a chill as I read this. Great story!
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Oh, boy, with you on that one. Anything above timberline creeps me out. Thanks for reading.
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Dear Alicia, Some search party – just as they leave, Edward shows up and there’s nothing to eat. Poor guy and Jonathon and Suzanna ruined his homecoming. Good story Alicia, can you imagine how totally devastated he would be when he got to the base-camp and no one was there. Great job as usual! Nan 🙂
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Nan, thanks for leaving such a thoughtful comment. I fear if the search party waited, they would have been in trouble, too. Alicia
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Wow, I could feel the desperation and hopelessness.
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Dawn, thank you!
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Oh my gosh, your story creates so much emotion! Very well written.
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Rachel, it seems like it’s been awhile since I’ve heard from you! Thanks so much for reading and leaving a reply. Hope all is well. Alicia
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I really like how you use the restrictions of the word limit as an aid to characterisation here, e.g. dialogue such as “Mountain’s changing – blizzard tonight” suggests people who are too tired, too pressed for time to waste a single word. It works really well.
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Blake, thank you for such a positive and wonderful comment.
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OH, too bad he missed them by such a narrow margin. If they were looking for him, they should have left more than trash, just in case.
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Alice, I thought of that, too, but word limits and drama required no food left behind. Thanks for commenting.
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Sad ending. It’s a part of the risk adventurers take. The diary of Robert Scott found after his death contained the followiing “We took risks, we knew we took them; things have come out against us, and therefore we have no cause for complaint, but bow to the will of Providence, determined still to do our best to the last”
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I remember reading those words. Thanks for reminding me.
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