The Kaleidoscope

Posted: September 24, 2014 in Uncategorized

Copyright - Marie Gail Stratford

Hungry, dirty, and scared, David huddled in the attic corner, wincing each time an explosion rocked the earth.
“If we don’t return,” Father had said, “look inside the kaleidoscope.”
David had. Bits of glass, beads and pebbles whirled inside – reflecting off the mirrors.
“I’m going blind, looking inside the kaleidoscope.”
What was he supposed to find? Who knew?
What he wanted – water and a hunk of cheese.
The eye piece felt cold against his skin.
Yellows and reds were the predominant colors. Some blue. Lots of boring white.
David shattered the kaleidoscope against the wall.
Seven perfect diamonds spilled across the floor.

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Comments
  1. Sandra says:

    That picture does remind me of a kaleidoscope, now that you mention it. Well observed.

    Like

  2. I think the boring white is exactly what we needed.

    Like

  3. A woman might not have been as violently frustrated and simply left it lay.

    Like

  4. Adam Ickes says:

    Who knew the father was being quite literal when he said to look into the kaleidoscope? Very interesting.

    Like

  5. Good job, but I wonder whether there will be anywhere for him to change the diamonds into something more useful.

    janet

    Like

  6. So David has the family’s jewels now so to speak…
    good flash story. Randy

    Like

  7. Elizabeth says:

    I want this kaleidoscope!

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  8. Clever use of the prompt. What a great find for David. Hope the stones get him out of trouble. The father has obviously not got this far, as I read it?

    Like

  9. A really nice take on the prompt.

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  10. draliman says:

    Not so boring white after all! that’ll buy a lot of cheese 🙂

    Like

  11. Dear Alicia,

    The diamonds won’t do much good if he dies in the explosion but I sense more to the story than that. What a clever place to hide jewels. 😉 Intriguing take on the prompt.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  12. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Alicia,

    A perfect tale about a good father and an impatient son. Take the comma from the third sentence and place it after the word ‘scared’ in the first sentence and your housekeeping swill be done. Very well imagined.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Like

  13. K.Z. says:

    a kaleidoscope + treasure! delightful take on the prompt 🙂

    Like

  14. Sightsnbytes says:

    nice. The thing does look like a kaleidoscope…never seen it at first, but now that’s all I see

    Like

  15. margirene says:

    Diamonds are just perfect to hide in a kaleidoscope. A clever idea. And I like how economically you’ve shown David’s situation and state of mind.
    Marg.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Exquisitely done! Now that you write about it, I see it as a kaleidoscope. Of course!
    I love the fact that the protagonist would like water and a hunk of cheese, and instead finds “seven perfect diamonds.”

    Like

  17. Alicia, I think the father knew his son well. He probably knew he’d break the kaleidoscope in frustration and find the diamonds. Creative use of the prompt. Well written. 🙂 —Susan

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Amy Reese says:

    The kaleidoscope works well. Great imagination, Alicia. Lucky him to score the treasure. All that looking was worth it.

    Like

  19. hafong says:

    Good thing he felt frustrated. Otherwise he might not have found the diamonds.

    Lily

    Like

  20. What a complex story in so few words. Amazing.

    Like

  21. Love this story…I too saw this as a kaleidoscope

    Like

  22. wmqcolby says:

    Oh, WAY cool! I want to hear more and yet, it stands alone, too.
    Alicia, this was “top shelf where grandma keeps the cookies!” 😉

    Like

  23. rgayer55 says:

    Well done, Alicia. This would a great opening for a much longer piece.

    Like

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