Never Ending Time

Posted: October 15, 2014 in Friday Fictioneers
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

It’s Wednesday – Friday again! Doug, thanks for this picture. There’s so much going on it was difficult to decide what to write about. Most of all it made me want to go to a warm beach and collect flotsam and jetsam that has floated up on the sand. Thanks, Rochelle, for keeping our merry band of writers on our toes.

Time seemed jumbled – years piled upon years.
People from all over the world visited Toyashi,
bringing shells, beads, bottles, rocks.
Payment was not important.
In return he healed their wounds
with elixirs he himself created.

He loved many who had come,
stayed, then died.

At first the years arrived like storms
full of laughter and dancing.
Later they resembled warm summer days
he wanted to last forever.
Now they are cold and never ending.
Like Toyashi.

The one thing people asked for –
knew he had –
was the secret to eternal life.
That elixir Toyashi would not share
and wished he’d never found.

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Comments
  1. Ah.. the curse to live forever.. I have a feeling that those staying has a role in his eternal life. Hope there is a way to end it.

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  2. A very thoughtful piece. We think of our mortal lives as having seasons but never an immortal one.

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  3. Thanks for the thoughtful response. Love your comments. Alicia

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  4. Nice poem and I like the theme. The greatest wish of humankind would be their greatest curse if they ever got it.

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  5. draliman says:

    Great story! Living forever is not all it’s cracked up to be. I hope he can find joy again.

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  6. Lovely poem. Sad that he has lost the joy of living. Despite his gift of healing, he has had to see so many people die. Eternal life would certainly be a curse.

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  7. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Alicia,

    What a beautiful poem…and the ending…exquisite. Very well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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  8. Dear Alicia,

    You are nothing if not the queen of the subtle but powerful ending. Your poem gives one pause to think. To be immortal and watch mortal loved ones age and die would be difficult. Nicely done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  9. Margaret says:

    I like how you’ve shown the changes he experiences – from the storms of youth through the mellowness of middle years to the winter of old age.Great images.
    Marg

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  10. How to heal himself of immortality when he can heal all other ills? You convey the compassion of the man as well as his grief so powerfully it’s hard not to wish for a happy ending. Beautiful poetry.

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  11. hugmamma says:

    This one should win the Pulitzer! I nominate you…

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  12. wildbilbo says:

    Love this one. Immortality sounds grand, but the human psyche is not designed for it.

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  13. Alicia, My mother had Alzheimer’s and had to be placed in a nursing home. I wouldn’t want to live forever. The hardest thing would be to see those closest to you, and younger in age, grow old and die ahead of you. No thanks! Very lovely and well-written story. — Susan

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  14. Elizabeth says:

    Beautiful story, making miracles and living forever, I’m curious why Toyashi is cold, couldn’t he become warm again, I imagine he is really tired.

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    • His heart is cold. Hard to put “all” into 100 words. Thanks. The editor in you needed to know. I can sympathize – my critique group love/hates me for just that kind of catch. I appreciate you’re stopping to read and comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Ellespeth says:

    It says a lot about Toyashi’s character that he doesn’t share the elixir of eternal life…
    This is a beautifully composed poem.
    Ellespeth

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  16. Amy Reese says:

    What lovely piece, Alicia. I love the way you captured time in your poem, with storms, with warm nights, and finally a dreary cold. This was wonderful to read.

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  17. I love this ending…and the way he protects others from his eternal curse….Toyashi is a kind and wise man…I like this guy!

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  18. Great story! Being eternal is not as easy as it looks … altlhough I’d like to try for a couple hundred years or so. NIce mystical touch.

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  19. Eternal life, a gift and a curse I would say. Good concepts here Alicia, and the prose brings to mind a storyteller before the main course

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  20. Fun! Wonderful! I really like your take on the picture. You make me want to try harder!

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  21. Sarah Ann says:

    So sad. If he could find a soulmate then maybe it would be worth sharing the secret. It must be so hard to watch everyone come and go though. I didn’t see where this was going, despite the clues – well done.

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  22. What a touching story. Eternal life would be a curse. I don’t know how a person could watch everyone they care about die. It must be very lonely being Toyashi. It would be so tempting to slip the elixir to a close friend or relative so he or she would never die.

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  23. I love the way the ending creeps up on you. So affecting, so sad. Brilliant as usual.

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  24. Hi Alicia, a multi-layered story. So well written.

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  25. Thanks for going back to read this. I appreciate your comments.

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  26. Blake says:

    As I mentioned in a reply to a comment of yours on my blog, I always appreciate the emotional impact you’re able to bring to 100 words. It always makes an impression. And I especially loved this line: “At first the years arrived like storms.” 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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