How could Emily have avoided the cracks? Even with the feet of a six year old the bricks were too close together.
“You’ll break your mother’s back,” Grandma had said. Did Emily want that? Sometimes – when she was very mad.
Had she made it happen? Maybe. She knew she’d purposely made Father angry.
Told him about the man Mother met for lunch.”They hugged, Daddy.”
He had roared and pushed Mother this way and that until she tumbled down the stairs.
Grandma came after the ambulance left. “Don’t cry, little one, your uncle is in town. He’ll watch over your mother.”
Step on a crack – Broken Back
Posted: October 29, 2014 in Friday FictioneersTags: anger, backs, bricks, children, cracks, revenge, tattle tale
Neat twist to explain all.
Cleverly done.
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Thanks. The picture left me with a big ? in my head . . . except for the bricks. Thanks for reading and commenting.
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Wow, there is a lot going on in that 100 words!
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Thanks Dawn. I’m always pleased when you stop by.
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Children can be so cruel and you captured that so well.
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Oh, they can be, can’t they? Glad you could see that in Emily.
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Ouch, that’s a hard ending. Excellent twist.
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Thank you. Glad it caught you by surprise. Alicia
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That’s a dark tale. It’s a shame the little girl thinks that the old superstition of stepping on pavement cracks contributed to her mother’s tumble, but she did make her dad mad on purpose.
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dralilman – me thinks Emily is not a very nice child. Thanks for commenting.
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I feel I could be that child! When you are small, you have no power at all, so you act out. Well, I do feel like a bad child sometimes. 🙂
Lily
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Me, too. I wonder if we ever leave the bad child behind. Thanks for reading.
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Big story in 100 words, Alicia. Nice job getting into the mind of a six year old!
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Welcome back! Your pics of Fiji were more than awesome. Makes me want to go. Thanks for reading and commenting, Dawn. Sometimes I think I have the mind of a six year old.
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and I have the mind of a crude juvenile. 🙂
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Dear Alicia,
I can’t help wondering how her uncle’s going to ‘watch out for her.’ Very sad tale and well told from the six-year-old’s point of view.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh! I hadn’t thought of that – he’ll be kind to his sister, I’m sure. Thanks, fellow “fun sized” lady, for reading and commenting.
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Dear Alicia,
Great story. You led us along masterfully until her uncle showed up. Still trying to see how that added to your narrative. Will keep reading comments to see what I missed. The POV of a six year old was unique and pulled off deftly.
Aloha,
Doug
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The uncle was the man who Mom hugged at lunch. I wondered if that would work and almost went over my 100 word limit to make it so. Instead I played with the last sentence – maybe not enough. Thanks for reading and asking questions, Doug
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Dear Alicia,
It wasn’t your fault. I’m just slow sometimes. Thanks for being patient with me. The word limit is a hard taskmaster, isn’t it. Demands a lot, but the price paid helps us master the craft, doesn’t it.
Aloha,
Doug
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It is a hard taskmaster but it definitely pays off in the end. Makes you think! Ouch…..
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My guess is the uncle is who Mom was hugging–if that did indeed happen. Of course, Emily knew how Dad was going to react so the whole thing could have been fabricated. Sounds like this family could have their own reality show.
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Yep, it was the uncle she hugged and without going over my 100 word limit I couldn’t say he’d just arrived in town. Ah, well. Thanks for reading and figuring it out. Alicia
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Papa’s got a real short fuse.
Surprised he didn’t take it out on the daughter, too.
Hope charges are filed on papa.
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Yeah! Papa ain’t the best man around. Thanks for stopping by to read about Emily’s dysfunctional family. Alicia
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Daddy has deeper issues than the little child. Clever story, I liked it.
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I think the whole family is a bit odd.
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Alicia, I also thought it was the uncle the mom hugged. When a child is raised in a home with people who have such problems, how can she not also have problems. Dad seems to be a violent wife beater. It’s probably not the first time he’s treated his wife that way. A reasonable husband would have questioned his wife about the incident. Good and well-written story. — Susan
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Susan – thanks for the insightful comment. Glad you liked the story. Have a wonderful day. Alicia
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So sad she really got a broken back, but I’m glad she’s still alive and in the hands of caring relative, or he something more? Nice job!
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Thanks, Amy. The uncle is kind. (Or so I’d like to believe). Thanks for reading! Always nice to have you stop. Alicia
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Layer upon layer in this story. It’s even possible that Mother wasn’t so innocent, that the uncle was an ‘uncle’ in a more general sense, and Grandma was in the know.
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Yes! Thanks for reading and taking the time to leave such an in depth comment. Alicia
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Innocent sayings can play such havoc in a child’s mind. I hope Emily voices her fears so Grandma can reassure her that it wasn’t her fault. Hope that uncle sticks around now things have got difficult too. You packed so much story in here – am very envious.
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Thanks, Sarah Ann. I appreciate your comments.
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That was so sad! In the classic way that children always blame themselves for what happens, this child is trapped by her “magical thinking.” Powerful story!
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Dear Dreamer, Thanks for reading and thinking Emily is a magical thinker.
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The tone here is so well-judged: to move from a kids’ game to such a tangled drama of adult issues, while maintaining the wide-eyed perspective of a child – it’s very skilfully done.
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Wow! Thanks for the beautiful comment. Alicia
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Sue, have you stopped submitting to Friday Fictioneers? I can’t find your stories anymore. Alicia
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Hi Alicia, how nice to hear from you! I’ve missed the last few FF prompts – I felt like a break from the 100 word format, though I’m sure I’ll be back. I’ve still looked at the link-up and visited people when I get the chance.
Instead I’ve written some stories for the prompts here – http://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/
A nice variety of prompts and no word limit, if you ever feel like something new 🙂
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Thanks for sending the link. I’ll check into it. Taking a break is a good idea. It refreshes the mind. I was just worried I was missing your FF submissions, I always enjoy them. Will look forward to your return. Happy holidays. Alicia
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