Tag Along

Posted: February 25, 2015 in Friday Fictioneers
Tags: , , ,

©Dawn_Landau

Me and Scruffs been followin’ them ladies for days,
tryin’ to decide if we should catch up
or head off on our own.

Daddy told me to, “Git and don’t come back.”
I packed me some apples, loaf of bread and got.

Been sleepin’ under the stars.
Better n’ sleepin’ under Daddy’s ratty old roof
waitin’ for him to come into my room
after Momma goes to sleep.

Once, Scruffs got after Daddy.
Bit him on his naked behind.
I laughed
’til Daddy pulled out ol’ Scruffs’ teeth.
Then I cried.

Someday we’ll have our own roof.
Fer now we’ll just follow them ladies.

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Comments
  1. I loved the voice of this.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Poor Scruffs, poor kid. Sounds like they’re better off out on their own.

    I loved the accent you used… it really gave the piece character.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. So sad a tale. A good future for them both.

    Like

  4. The dialogue and use of an accent is great. They are better off without him.
    May I ask why are they only following the ladies and not making contact?

    Like

  5. My heart hurts…but not nearly enough as the narrator’s and Scuffs’ at such a betrayal. I hope they come out on the loving side.

    janet

    Like

  6. Wow, we are quote similar this week. Except that accent..perfect!

    Like

  7. plaridel says:

    sad story. i could only wish them well.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Sandra says:

    The voice is very convincing in this, and the picture of the naked behind… well it drew a lot more laughs than him taking the dog’s teeth out. A clever balance of humour and horror here. Well done.

    Like

  9. What a voice, what a tragic story. Well delivered, I wish for happy days for both of them.

    Like

  10. draliman says:

    Poor narrator and Scruffs. No matter what happens I think they’re better off out of it, they seem to be doing okay.
    Great dialect!

    Like

  11. Dear Alicia,

    The image of Daddy pulling out Scruff’s teeth just made me ache. In fact the whole story is so well done it made me ache and applaud at the same time. Brava!

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  12. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Alicia,

    A very poignant and well written story. The voice is perfect and reminded me of Scout, from To Kill a Mockingbird. This one will stay ion my mind for a long time.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Very good picaresque story. I’d like to hear some of their adventures with Scruffs savagely gumming any bad guys that they run into!

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Jan Brown says:

    Very poignant. I love the first person voice of the child. I hope he connects with the women he’s following!

    Like

  15. wildbilbo says:

    Great characterisation through the speech patterns and voice here. Nice work.
    KT

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Liz Young says:

    You got that girl-child’s voice perfectly. Well written – it was worth tracking you down from ‘Anonymous’ on my blog to ‘Alicia’ on yours, and you’re right – our minds were obviously in tune this week.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Liz, for taking the time to track me down. Depending on which computer I use and which search engine I’m in it’s either easy or difficult to add my wordpress address so often I use anonymous. I appreciate your commenting.

      Like

  17. This picture seems to have raised up some interesting accents in our writers as well as sexual predator themes.
    Liked your entry. Randy

    Like

  18. Nice use of the whole scene. I hope the girl finds a home.

    Like

  19. Your story reminds me of what Churchill said: “If you are going through hell, keep going.” Hopefully there re met by good in the end!

    Like

  20. rgayer55 says:

    I loved the voice as well, Alicia. Great story telling. It could easily be expanded into a YA novel.

    Like

  21. A wonderful voice .. and a very sad tale.. at lease she is rid of dad.. hope they make it in the end.

    Like

  22. Amy Reese says:

    I think they’ll be better off with the ladies. Daddy was mean to pull out teeth. Sleeping under the stars doesn’t sound so bad, compared to that. Great characterization, Alicia.

    Like

  23. Wonderful voice, Alicia. I love the movement forward of this piece. Beautiful!

    Liked by 1 person

  24. I felt the journey in this piece.
    It seems that no one let this kid be just a kid this week. Lots of tragedy for this little girl on FF. And I killed her dog.

    Like

  25. milliethom says:

    This is excellent, Alicia. I love the style and the voice you’ve used. It’s a tragic tale of an abused but brave young girl: the father deserved far more than a bite on the backside! Poor Scruff suffered tor his actions too. I hope they find the ‘roof ‘they’re looking for. 🙂

    Like

  26. Margaret says:

    Great voice. Her character comes through really strongly. She sounds like a survivor – she’s got a plan, and she’s got Scruffs. Wonderful story.

    Like

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