Sitting alone, listening to umpa music, wasn’t what Rolando had planned.
The night was to be full of adventure, excitement, freedom. And flight.
Yes, he and Fastina were escaping this tiny town full of prejudice.
Returning to Mexico where people ate tortillas stuffed with chicken mole
while listening to mariachi music. And dancing.
Fastina’s father had shouted, “No!” Rolando’s mother? She cried.
Still, the couple packed their bags – hid them by the gazebo.
So where was Fastina? She promised to meet him at 10:00.
Fastina screamed Rolando’s name as five enormous white men
watched another rip the buttons off her blouse.
Sad story…Given an allowance of another 100 words ..can the story change to a happy ending please 🙂
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Yes, indeed. Thanks for reading!
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Wow, definitely wasn’t expecting that twist. Not sure what was going on with her, but has me super worried!
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You should be. Thank you so much for reading and commenting. Cheers!
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I want a happy ending, not five enormous white men! Or could you at least lower it to two white guys?
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She’s just a tiny Mexican gal. All white guys seem enormous to her…. sorry, Perry. My husband told me all my stories have been dark lately. Maybe I’ll perk-it-up next week. Thanks for reading and wishing.
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Such a tragedy. Beautiful story with such an ugly ending but isn’t that how it goes sometimes?
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Dear Priceless, it is indeed. Things could have been different in a different town. But if it were in a different town they might not have to leave. (Whew!) Thanks for reading!
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My pleasure! 🙂
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Oh that’s terrible! I was hoping for a different ending. But well done on stirring up so much emotion in only 100 words!! Great writing!
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Thank you, Rachel. I always appreciate your taking the time to read and comment. Alicia
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Wow, that is quite an ending…
So much going in in so few words.
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Thanks, Francesca.
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Oh no! I hope he hears her!
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Me, too! Maybe if the band takes a break. Thanks, Dawn/
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Dear Alicia, What a story and so very sad. I hope something stops them but that would be unrealistic. Poor girl – Rolando is waiting and she’s being raped. Horrific story but it does happen a lot. There are bigots everywhere and for some reason, they keep being born. Well done. Nan
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What a statement! And sad but true that bigots continue to be born and hound us. Thanks for your thoughtful reply. Alicia
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Shocked but not surprised. Good piece.
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Thank you, Mick, for reading this piece and commenting, too.
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That was quite a shock ending. All their plans shattered in an instant of violence and Rolando sitting there oblivious, wondering if she’d changed her mind.
Great story!
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Thank you. I appreciate your time and comments – always.
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You certainly jerked the rug out from under my feet with this one, Alicia. Sometimes a writer has to do that to keep the audience on their toes. A well written piece. I can still see the video in my mind.
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Russell, I hope I didn’t throw you off balance moving rugs around. Thanks for your kind comment. Alicia
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What a tragic ending. They were so close to happiness. I love the details of family and Rolando’s dreams of their new life in Mexico. They provide such a contrast to the brutal and shocking ending.
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Thank you, Margaret. I was trying for that counter-balance and am glad it worked.
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No! That was a truly shocking denoument.
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Sorry. Thanks for reading and leaving a reply.
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it didn’t have to end that way. darn, but it did. 😦
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The best laid plans . . . .
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I was totally absorbed in this youthful love story, rooting for Rolando and Fastina. The jarring ending yanked me to an entirely different place. Very effective shock, Alicia!
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Dear Alicia,
There’s not much I can add to other comments. You told a lot of story in your hundred words. Jarringly well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh! So not how I wanted it to end! Great job…
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Life does have its twists and turns. Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.
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An extremely sad and worrying end..
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Happy ending next week – I promise.
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No wonder they want to escape the town. I hope Rolando finds her in time to save her life.
Your husband is right; this is a very dark twist ending!
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I’ll make the next story happy and light. Thanks for reading. Alicia
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Ouch!
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Sorry!
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That was a real cliffhanger. Now is the time for a hero to two to come to the rescue. Good realistic drama, Alicia. Well done. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Thanks, Hopefully someone will come by on their way to dance to the music.
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A very unexpected ending, and a very worrying one at that. I’m not sure whether you intend to continue the story, Alicia, but I, for one, would love to know what happened and whether Fastina is rescued from this attack. If this is the ending, it is incredibly sad. Very well written throughout.
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Thank you. I don’t know if I will continue the story or not. Many people have expressed an interest in a happier ending . Maybe if next weeks prompt inspires, I will see what I can do for Fastina. Thanks so much for wishing her well. Alicia
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Dear Alicia,
You had me primed and ready for a sweet, happy ending. Nice bait and switch. I became involved with your characters and now I’m angry with myself. That’s the sign of good writing.
Aloha,
Doug
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Doug, Sorry I made you mad. I’m always pleased when you stop by. I will try to be upbeat next week. Aloha, to you, too. Alicia
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A shocking and surprising ending to a romantic tale of escape, Well done
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Thank you, Reclining Gentleman.
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How awful. If only he could hear her.
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Perhaps the music will die down at just the right time. Thanks for reading, Alice, and leaving a reply. Alicia
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Oh man…I wasn’t expecting that ending. How horrible! Hoping for someone to show up and help her out.
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Thanks for reading! And leaving a comment. Much appreciated. Alicia
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This story got dark fast.
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Yes- that’s what happens when there’s a 100 word limit. Thank you so much for reading The Interrupted Promise.
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Heart breaker…I hope their dream can still come true.
The writing flows perfectly for this piece. I can hear the music, too.
Ellespeth
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Thank you!
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A powerful story with a jarring ending. I want to knwo more. I want to read more. Is there more?
Oh my, this is very well written. 😎
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Thanks so very much!
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Ok, I don’t feel entirely comfortable ‘liking’ this story… But I do like its devastating power (that last sentence is a brutal turnaround for a person lulled by your romantic lead in) and the skill with which it was told.
KT
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Thanks! I agree, sometimes there should be an “I read this” button. I appreciate your reading my story and leaving such a kind comment. Alicia
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Such a powerfull ending…don’t apologize for going dark, these horrific things need to be voiced, not kept in the darkness. Great job!
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Wow! Thank you.
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All those hopes dashed so tragically, with such a bleak contrast between the opening and the close of that piece. So true to life, too, sadly. Well written.
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Thanks very much Sarah.
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