What’s Important?

Posted: May 6, 2015 in Friday Fictioneers
Tags: , , ,

This is my 99 word response to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields weekly photo prompt. Thank you, fearless leader, for keeping our minds working – whether the prompts be old or new.

Masala watched yellow sand swirl through the air – a thousand dervishes waiting to scour her delicate brown skin. Last night Papa told her she must go to the village well – alone. The five mile walk didn’t worry Masala. Thirst and the men from the neighboring tribe did. She fingered the puckered scar on her cheek – a reminder of the last time she’d encountered them. Masala began to walk.

Steam filled the bathroom while Annabelle worked pre-shower moisturizer into her ivory skin. Hot water left gushing, she stopped to study the enormous pimple on her forehead. OMG! What would Ronald think?

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Comments
  1. micklively says:

    First world meets third world and water poverty.
    Good piece.

    Like

  2. It’s all a matter of perspective.. very effective.

    Like

  3. ansumani says:

    The inequalities of the world is astounding. Good message in the story.

    Like

  4. The world summed up in 99 words. You really have succeeded in putting that pimple in its place. Well done. Powerful stuff.

    Like

  5. Love that juxtaposition. And such a good reminder.

    Like

  6. Dear Alicia,

    Your two very different women give us pause to evaluate what’s important and what’s not. You’ve said a lot in a few words. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Rochelle. This started out a much larger story written in a writing practice I attend on the first and third Fridays of the month. The tale may have lost a little during the whittling from about 300 words to 100 but the meat is still there. I appreciate your taking time to read and comment.

      Like

  7. plaridel says:

    after reading it twice, i finally was able to connect the dots. a thought-provoking story showing two worldviews in conflict.

    Like

  8. How frivolous we can be. An excellent piece.

    Like

  9. Horus says:

    great! contradictions of world today – a very real picture we should be waking up to.

    Like

  10. I like the two contrasts – you really make a point here.

    Like

  11. draliman says:

    Nice comparison of “first world” and “real” problems.

    Like

  12. Great juxtaposition of these two women. A good way to make us think.

    Like

  13. Dave says:

    I wonder how the dermatologists make a living in the third world. Almost as rare as cosmetic surgeons?

    Like

  14. Nan Falkner says:

    Great story! Nan

    Like

  15. You did well with your whittling. You’ve left the most important parts.

    Like

  16. Yep, we should always count our blessings, to use a corny phrase, but most of us don’t. We take for granted what others would almost kill for. For a moment, in reading this piece, you get it all in perspective.

    Like

  17. wildbilbo says:

    I didnt get this first read – i wasnt paying enough attention to realise the names changed! Once I did, it all fell together 🙂 A nice switch in perspective, brings home the things we take for granted.
    KT

    Liked by 1 person

  18. rgayer55 says:

    Quite a contrast between those two worlds. We had running water when I was a child, but it was sulfur water and unfit to drink. We carried our drinking water from a well that my grandfather had dug. When you have to carry your water, you learn not to waste it. Great story, Alicia.

    Liked by 1 person

    • My parents grew up during the dust bowl – my mother on a farm. They absolutely had to save water. Mom and Dad taught me to save water like a “flat lander” and I do my best. Thanks for the insight into your childhood. Alicia

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Sandra says:

    Great idea and nicely executed. Well done.

    Like

  20. yarnspinnerr says:

    Your story reminds me of the locally made water heaters here. Great perspective.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. gahlearner says:

    Yes, that, exactly that. We don’t know how priviledged we are.

    Like

  22. Water is worth soap boxing over so keep it up. I thought the piece and it’s message were very clear in a few short phrases.
    Well done,
    Tracey

    Like

  23. Amy Reese says:

    What a wonderful piece, Alicia. It serves as a reminder some have to walk miles for water under threatening circumstances. So scary. First world problems seem pretty trivial. Great story and writing!

    Liked by 1 person

  24. mjlstories says:

    The things we take for granted…
    Powerful piece.

    Like

  25. It would be cool to read the story of these two worlds colliding.

    Like

  26. Amazing the different perspectives of life generally and water specifically are depending on where you live. The first is chilling. The second seems self-absorbed by comparison but given the different circumstances understandable.

    Like

  27. Well-written and thought-provoking piece. “What’s important?” – it’s a matter of perspective, and some perspectives are more inward-facing than others

    Like

  28. Strong contrast, Alicia. If a person’s never experienced a water shortage and the dangers of some tribal people of the third world, they don’t even think about it. They feel insulated against such things. Well done. — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Margaret says:

    Very evocative pictures of the two girls – the contrast is most telling.

    Like

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