Telltale Eyes

Posted: May 20, 2015 in Friday Fictioneers
Tags: , , ,

Friday Fictioneer Wednesday has rolled around again. Thanks to Santoshwriter for the beautiful picture prompt.

FF_santoshwriter (1)

It’s a good day when baby don’t cry. I knows he’s just a little ‘un, but with all the scrubbin’ and cookin’ I gots to do for the mens, I ain’t got much time left to tend him each time he whimpers or pees hisself. Sam Joseph says to just hang baby naked in a pint-sized hammock and let him do his business. No mamma can do that. ‘Sides I gots to feed tiny man. End of day I’m beat, and sometimes beatin’ by Master Tom. He don’t much like the fact baby gots his blue eyes and bad temper.

  1. Ahha, clever last line reveals all. Loved it.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Dear Alicia,

    A whole novel between the lines. So well done.



    Liked by 1 person

  3. micklively says:

    Chip off the old block. There’s something terrifying about a casual acceptance of violence.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sandra says:

    Very convincing voice in this piece Alicia. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. gahlearner says:

    I’m worried for mother and child. Will they be sold? There’s so much tragedy in this story… great story.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Sonya says:

    Oh, this is so well written. Great voice!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I bet there are still parts of the world where this is a reality! Nicely done!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I love this Alicia. Such a great voice (and twist).

    Liked by 1 person

  9. yarnspinnerr says:

    That sure is a superb abstract of the big picture. Nice.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. draliman says:

    I’m glad Sam Joseph isn’t in charge of baby care! Loved the dialect, and great last line.


  11. Oh the last line just closed it perfectly.. I like it when the whole story gets explained by that last line.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. A great little story with a bit of a sting in its tail.

    Rosey Pinkerton’s blog


  13. hafong says:

    I can never understand slavery, the master begatting children he doesn’t acknowledge. You got the tone just perfect.



  14. ooh, this one goes deep…


  15. That last line really brought this home!


  16. Great story! I loved the twist at the end!


  17. Fabulous. You have so brought her to life with that voice of hers. And that last sentence is perfect.


  18. Ula says:

    Wow! This is really good. Amazing! A great reveal at the end. That voice is so well written, I could hear it. It’s wonderful what you’ve done in so few words.


  19. Great piece and great last line.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. mjlstories says:

    Great story. Tears any parent’s heart.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. You’ve told an entire story beyond its 100 words and in a brilliant voice. I really enjoyed this

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Margaret says:

    Such a sad story – a close-up look at a scene that was probably commonplace way back then. Great voice – the character comes alive.


  23. rgayer55 says:

    I haven’t tried that hammock approach, but it sounds logical. Probably have to move it every couple of days though.

    Beautifully constructed, and I loved the voice.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. A big story here. A hammock for me too – see above.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.