Broken

Posted: July 1, 2015 in Friday Fictioneers

I’ve been preparing a manuscript to pitch at a writer’s conference and been remiss with my Friday Fictioneers submissions. I’ve missed reading all of yours and am not sure how many I’ll read this go-around so please forgive.

PHOTO PROMPT - © Jean L. Hays

they’ll never fly, these little birds
they’ve been broken
piece by piece

colorful
yes
and they can sing
oh, yes
beautifully
when they need to
when they have to

but all the joy
has been wrenched
from their souls
stolen

the men around them laugh
and drink
take their pleasure
when they please

and the chicks cry
howl
plead

no one hears
no one sees
they turn their backs
as the little birds
crumble
one by one

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Comments
  1. Tragically sad and beautifully written. To have brought such poetry from that picture… Hats off to you!

    Like

  2. Ode to the past. Very well done!

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  3. micklively says:

    Clever use of the words Alicia – I’m impressed.

    Like

  4. Sandra says:

    Clever use of the prompt and a nice piece, Alicia.

    Like

  5. rgayer55 says:

    Nice flow to those words.
    Best wishes on your pitch as the writer’s conference. I’d love to hear more about your manuscript.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Russell. The conference was last weekend. One of the agents I pitched wants the full manuscript both in print and on-line. The novel is a YA about the friendship between a young Norwegian settler – Jacob Engen – and a Makah Indian – Pistol Pete – in the 1800’s. It takes the reader through family relations, the clash of cultures and first love for both boys.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Dear Alicia,

    Lovely poem.

    Best wishes at the conference. Like Russell I’d like to hear more about your manuscript. Are you pitching to an agent or an editor? Just remember each pitch is a step in the right direction regardless of the outcome.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    • Rochelle, I’m glad you liked my third stab at any poetry. This is what happens when you hang out with poets. See above reply to Russell for a short “pitch” about my novel. Thanks for being interested.

      Like

  7. gahlearner says:

    This so sad and beautiful, your words drew me right in. I think everyone here understands being busy. Good luck with your manuscript.

    Like

  8. Vinay Leo R. says:

    That last verse is so poignant, yet beautiful. Good luck with the manuscript…

    Here’s me Friday Fictioneer fiction

    Liked by 1 person

  9. draliman says:

    Very sad, but such a beautiful poem. I’m not a big fan of poems, but this one I love!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Dale says:

    Fabulously done (you may want to fix your link… must be done on the “text” tab, not the “visual” one… 😉

    Like

  11. Ypu were inspired this week Alicia!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. plaridel says:

    clipped wings don’t do justice for these birds.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. wildbilbo says:

    Experienced poet or not, you’ve written something that evokes an emotion – so mission accomplished! I read this as a very dark ugly piece – the caged bird imagery representing slavery (sexual slavery specifically)… well done.

    Like

  14. A heart-breaking piece of beautiful poetry, Alicia. The use of color here, from the prompt, is stunning. Love this one!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Amy Reese says:

    Beautiful words, Alicia. Best of luck on your pitch! How exciting. I will be thinking positive thoughts for you.

    Like

  16. Oh so great about the manuscript… the poem can be read in so many ways, very inspired from the picture

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Margaret says:

    Great use of the picture to focus on a dreadful practice. Very thought-provoking.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Sad but lovely piece. I hope all goes well with your manuscript. Well done. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Like

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