Mouse vs Coyote

Posted: September 30, 2015 in Friday Fictioneers
Tags: , ,

Yes, indeed, it’s Wednesday/Friday for our merry band of Friday Fictioneers. Thanks Marie Gail for an interesting photo and thanks Rochelle for keeping us on our toes. Now ~ here is my 100 word contribution for the week.

Sadie peered at the lifeless mouse on her doorstep.”Zelda is one crazy flora-dora.”
“That ain’t nothin’,” Samuel stepped outside.”She dropped a dead coyote on my porch last week.”
“Coyote? He be a trickster and thief, lot like you,” Sadie said.
“Maybe yes. Maybe no.” Samuel toed the mouse. “But why’d she leave this on your stoop?”
“Mr. Mouse be the smart one. He be seein’ right into people’s thievin’ hearts.”
“Humph.” Samuel stuffed his hands deep inside his pockets.
“And I sees right through you, Samuel Makutsi. ‘Cause I knows you hidin’ mamma’s pearl earrings in your ratty old fist.”

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Comments
  1. micklively says:

    Bang to rights.
    Good piece.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. gahlearner says:

    The voices are great, the culprit found out, but my understanding is limited by language. Try as I might, I couldn’t find a fitting definition for flora-dora (other than showgirls).

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sandra says:

    What a terrific little vignette. And convincingly told too.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Glad I dropped in today to read this, Alicia! I think you got the voice just right, although I tend to associate Coyote the trickster with the southwest American Indians. Well done.

    janet

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Great characters here, beautifully honed. Maybe some more?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. k rawson says:

    That’s great, Sadie be some crazy flora dora herself!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Excellent! One of my favorites so far this week.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. ansumani says:

    I like the voices of the characters. Had to read comments to find out the flora-dora meaning…but it was a fun story. Nicely done.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Dale says:

    Fun stuff. Caught red-handed!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I have to say it sounds difficult to be a thief among witches.. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. plaridel says:

    that was a nice at the end. didn’t expect it.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Nan Falkner says:

    Great story Alicia – you are good! Nan

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I love when you write this kind of vignette. You’re so good at capturing a voice and mood, Alicia. Nice job!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. draliman says:

    Zelda has the measure of them! Loved the dialogue.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Fabulous voices Alicia

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Sumana Roy says:

    ah..a good one 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Nice segue into Sam’s thievin’. Good thing the mouse showed up when he did. Nice take on the prompt.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. jwdwrites says:

    Great characterisation and dialogue 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Superb dialogue. Samuel should have known by now that nothing stays hidden from Sadie 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  20. wildbilbo says:

    Great dialogue – you nail the patois here, really gives it character. 🙂

    Like

  21. rgayer55 says:

    I loved the voice and where the story took us. The only place I stumbled was Samuel’s last name. It seemed rather odd based on their dialect.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for letting me know this, Russell. The characters are slaves on a southern plantation. So coyote may fit less than Makutsi. I borrowed the name from one of Alexander McCall Smith’s male characters in The No.1 Ladies’ Detective Agency series set in Batswana, Always appreciate your questions. Alicia

      Like

  22. Solothefirst says:

    HA! Called out. Well done

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Sarah Ann says:

    Love the voices in this – really strong depicting their characters.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Cute little story, and I’m looking forward to the dead coyote on my doorstep!

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Ha, I love the witchy way of this!

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Great dialect, Alicia. It colored this story beautifully. Looks like those two have known each other a long time. Thanks for explaining “flora-dora.” I didn’t know that term either. Well done. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Amy Reese says:

    Flora-dora is someone who does witchcraft? How cool is that?! I learned something new. I’ll take the mouse over the coyote and hope that I won’t be having any flora-dora visits. A dead bird in my house is about all I can handle. Alicia. Great piece. I love the voice, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Margaret says:

    You’ve suggested a whole world around this little scene – wonderful. And the dialogue just sparkles.

    Liked by 1 person

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