Too Scary for Children

Posted: October 14, 2015 in Friday Fictioneers
Tags: , , ,

PHOTO PROMPT -© Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

No-Longer-Mamma lies in the bed behind me wired to who knows what. Machines beep and whine. Lights flicker – green ones, blue ones.
From the top of the mummy-like wrapping covering all but her eyes, brilliant spikes of red hair poke up like bloody sticks in a bird’s nest, stiffened with gel six-year-old me helped apply. Me!
No-Longer-Mamma moans. Wails. Shakes the bed until the wheeled legs rattle. I don’t look away from the window – afraid, even though I know what’s happening.
“Come, Adele,” Mamma says. I tip-toe over. She presses dry lips to my ear. “Ain’t this the best Halloween costume ever?”

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Comments
  1. That was an unexpected twist!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Creepy. At first I thought she was a prisoner and then realized it is just a costume, I hope?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Alicia,

    I thought she was on her death bed. Wow. That’s a twist that practically gave me whiplash. Nice!

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Great twist, Alicia. I love “No-Longer-Mamma.”

    janet

    Liked by 1 person

  5. ceayr says:

    From your own comments I know what you meant with the tale, but from just the 100 words there are other interpretations.
    Some that I personally prefer!
    So, well done, I think.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Very good! I’m glad you see other ways to look at this 100 word tale. Probably there are several interpretations because it morphed from one story into another and then a third, each leaving bits and pieces behind. So, thank you, and I mean it. Alicia

      Like

  6. You know me, I had already diagnosed mamma and was ready to bury her. I like a confusing tumble. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. plaridel says:

    i didn’t expect that ending. you had me fooled. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Solothefirst says:

    Phew, I thought that was going to be really sad! Great job with this!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. What an unexpected turn at the end! I got that it was a hospital scene, and that the mother was probably in a critical state of some kind. And then, that bit about the hair, and the fact that the six-year old had applied that gel. Brilliant story! Moving. Not really creepy, just unexpected.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Sandra says:

    So many possible interpretations on this tale, I love it! Personally, I prefer that they were getting ready for a night of trick-or-treating and something dreadful happened. ‘No longer Mama’ is just trying to reassure her little girl. Very sinister, and even the light twist at the end still leaves it mysteriously dark. Good job!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. micklively says:

    You reeled me in like a lame fish.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. ansumani says:

    That was an unexpected twist…but it’s good that it ended in a happy note. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I still think she’s on her death bed with a great sense of humor – implying that the way she’s looking is a great costume. Perhaps her last great costume.

    Certainly that is the way humor runs in my somewhat off-beat family. We laugh at ourselves and each other. Even when facing the end of life.

    Randy

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I too thought it was a death bed scene. The whole thing is a bit creepy. Too scary for adults.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. k rawson says:

    What a relief, I was pretty concerned. Great twist!

    Like

  16. Dale says:

    Love this… Made me think of “Life is Beautiful” – Mama keeping up the story so Adele need not worry… never expected Hallowe’en to come into play!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Amy Reese says:

    Nice twist, Alicia. I thought it might be hear death bed, too, or that she had already died! Very funny, but scary for the kids. For the longest time, my youngest couldn’t even look at Halloween decorations. I love the red hair out of the wrap and the “Me!” who spoke up. Great voice.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. draliman says:

    Ha, great ending! I was feeling all sad until the last line 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Jan Brown says:

    Sometimes the twist ending just writes itself. This was a great one!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I had a feeling she was dying, thanks for the pleasant surprise.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. helenmidgley says:

    I was ready for tears and then BAM, great twist 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  22. hafong says:

    I’m glad you had a lighter ending! I was getting a little too scared.

    Lily

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Oh, thank goodness, I was so worried! Happy Halloween, Alicia!

    Liked by 1 person

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