Hurtful Tales

Posted: October 26, 2016 in Friday Fictioneers
Tags: , , ,

Wow!Rochelle has been our Friday Fictioneers Facilitator for four years and what a marvelous job she does.Today’s thought-provoking picture was provided by Peter Abbey. When I read my 100-word story to my husband, he said, ” Another dark one.” Maybe next week I’ll bend toward the lighter side. Thanks to all who read and comment on my submissions. I truly appreciate you all.

peter-abbey11

11:50 am
“Got to get home before me Em does.”
Samuel’s feet clattered across the wooden bridge.
His leggings were too hot, not because the day was warm,
it was only forty degrees, it was the panic, the need to reverse time.
“She not be cheatin’ on me! Lyin’ bitches!”

12:10 pm
“Em!” The oak door slammed against the wall.
Emily’s single porcelain dish tumbled from the shelf. Shattered.
“Em!” Samuel sprinted, room to room.

He found her hanging in the attic; note pinned to her bodice.
Beneath his words, “Be gone by noon.”
she’d penned, “Husband, I’ll have done what you be askin’.”

https://static.inlinkz.com/cs2.js

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Comments
  1. neilmacdon says:

    Chilling stuff, Alicia

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Very chilling indeed, and even though it has suspense from the first line, the end is still a surprise. Well done.

    Like

  3. Nice writing, but I’m a bit confused. I’m sure it’s just me not getting it. I’m not sure who the liars are, what the story was, and why he wrote that note to her…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Iain Kelly says:

    Powerful story and an unexpected shock at the end. Great writing.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. misskzebra says:

    I think whatever changes you made make the story make much more sense. The single porcelein dish is an extremely nice touch, both in terms of the imagery and what it tells us about them.

    Like

  6. Rea Ann Loomis says:

    Lishy….Sent chills up my spine and also a frantic tension…you should really publish these…you could find your own pictures! Excellent!

    Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Rea Ann. I had to tweak it several times to get it to read right. Claire Fuller helped me to see it wasn’t right the first time around. Love this writing group. Thanks for your uplifting comment.

      Like

  7. Lynn Love says:

    I was a little confused at first too (the lying bitches section) but reread and now I get it. I thought at first he was calling his wife a bitch. Anyway, a suitably chilling tale for Halloween – I wonder if she’ll haunt him.
    Great stuff Alicia

    Liked by 1 person

  8. rgayer55 says:

    She sounds like a very obedient wife to me.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. draliman says:

    I wasn’t expecting that ending, nice one! I’m stuck in a “dark” rut as well, must be the time of year 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Dear Alicia,

    Em, she do be a obedient wife. 😉 This be a dark piece. A good one at that.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    PS Thank you for the kudos. I can’t believe it’s been four years.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I really wasn’t expecting that! Chilling!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Lizy says:

    Dreadful – he clearly hoped they’d work it out.

    Like

  13. gahlearner says:

    Perfect example for how deadly gossip can be. Very sad and powerful story, Alicia.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Laurie Bell says:

    Ooooooo thats a tragic end. Lies hurt everyone

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover says:

    Oh my, what a dark tale.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. plaridel says:

    sadly, she let him win. she could have run away instead.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Sandra says:

    Very dark. I felt I got a very clear image of Em, and her dreadful situation.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Ah, this hits hard…Poor Em, I suspect she had hard times long before that day. I liked the language, it added to tragedy.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Drak, I’ll say. Great voices. What desperation there must have been; what a backstory.

    Like

  20. Dale says:

    Be gone… Sheesh, did she have to take it so literally? I’m figuring I woulda grabbed me a horse and carriage and been gone that a-way! Then again, he prob’ly didn’t leave the horse behind…
    Poor thing…

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Michael Wynn says:

    Very chilling. Tragic consequences of spiteful rumours

    Liked by 1 person

  22. A dreadful tale!
    Poor folks with very poor spirited neighbours or whoever is spreading tales.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. ansumani says:

    You have evoked a distant past and all it’s issues and the life of two people all in 100 words. Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Margaret says:

    There’s so much going on between the lines – what he’s heard, how he believed it and then, I think, changed his mind; the implications of the note and Emily’s tragic obedience. I’d like to read a full-length story about these two.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, once again, for such a thoughtful comment. I’m glad you could “see” what was happening between the lines. I think that in the time period I was writing about, it was a very witchy world in small towns.

      Like

  25. So sad that she believed this was the best way.

    Like

  26. Holy brilliant writing, Batman! Love this, Alicia. I did not see the end coming, but the tension and story built up so perfectly. The accent, the tone and setting. This is just great!!

    Liked by 1 person

  27. How terrible! A surprise in the ending and a reminder of how we can act impulsively when emotions rage, especially in the context of an unhealthy relationship (or that’s what I thought of, anyway!).

    Liked by 1 person

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