The swirl and grind of life never fazed Annette.
She went to work, hated her job, came home.
She tended the children, as required.
Due to no effort on her part
all five grew into fine young men and women.
Annette observed them moving away.
Never bothered to call them
nor worried if they didn’t call her.
Once slim and beautiful, Annette grew fat.
She sewed larger clothes.
Her hair became limp and dull.
She cut it.
When Annette’s husband said she no longer cooked well
she bought take-out.
She attended his funeral without tears.
Not a soul attended hers.
(100 words)
Dear Alicia,
You’ve painted a brilliant portrait of a woman who existed but never lived.It made my heart ache even though Annette didn’t allow herself the same luxury. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks, Rochelle. I needed to clear my mind and think “dull” while I wrote this. Thankfully I don’t know anyone like Annette. Thanks for stopping by. Alicia
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I’m glad you don’t know anyone like Annette. Thankfully, neither do I. Excellent piece this week!
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Thank you. Nice to “see” you! It’s been awhile.
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She’s a real piece of work, this Annette. I hope she enjoyed her life, but it didn’t sound like it. Cleverly portrayed.
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Thak you, Sandra. I think Anette just slogged through life, doing what she was supposed to – nothing more.
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What a horrid existence… And that is what she did. Existed. Awfully sad… Well done and I, too, am glad you don’t know an Annette!
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I know! I might feel like helping and that probably wouldn’t go very far at all. Thanks.
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I wonder, and this would make another exercise, what was Annette’s one pleasure? Her one saving grace. I know she had one.
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Maybe I’ll break the FF rules and post another story! Thanks for the suggestion, Neil. (I Rochelle slaps my hands, I’ll blame it all on you!) ; – )
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I take your sin upon me
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I’ve submitted another piece and placed blame at your door.
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A tragically constricted life. Never allowing herself to feel too much or love well. Well constructed and very moving
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Thanks for your kind words, Lynn.
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My pleasure 🙂
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This is so sad… I cannot even feel sorry for Annette… somehow i feel she could have made many other choices and been much more happy…
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Thanks, Bjorn. She does seem to be a bit dull. Amazing the choices we make – or don’t.
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Lish, this story is written in such a stark way, that captures the flat, lifeless world of Annette. Wonderfully told.
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Thanks. I was hoping that was the way she would come across – a woman slogging through life. Enjoy your travels, dear, your stories about airport “mishaps” have been spectacular so far.
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Indeed! Pretty epic… but so tired, and haven’t even started, really.
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Sorry, Sweetie, that made me laugh! In a good way. Stay safe.
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I feel like I actually lived a life in 100 words. Alicia — BRILLIANT!!! This could not have been ANY better. It is spot on. And that ending packs a punch.
Amazing!
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Wow! Thank you a dozen times.
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how tragic. dickens couldn’t have written a sadder tale.
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You are too kind. Thanks, as always, for stopping by and leaving a comment. Cheers!
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Such a sad tale, well told.
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Thank you, Michael.
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Quite a depressing life you’ve portrayed here. Nicely done!
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It is a bit depressing. I had to make myself feel very down and out, blank my mind, to get the feeling. Won’t go there again for awhile. Thank you for reading and leaving a comment.
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I was going to go to Annette’s funeral, but then I thought, “Why bother? She won’t come to mine.”
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Ha! A perfect and well thought out decision. Thanks for reading.
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LOL!
Only you Russell would think of that.
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And so it goes….
like Richard Brautigan or Kurt Vonnegut.
Life ends. With only a period.
Nice work.
Randy
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It surely does. Thanks for reading and commenting. I’ve been taking classes to become an aerobics instructor and am way behind in my FF readings. Will get to yours very soon. Happy New Year! Alicia
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A sad tale, well told! Should it be ‘fazed’ rather than ”phased’ in the first line?
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Yikes!!!! Indeed it should. Thank you, kind sir, for pointing that out. And for stopping by. Cheers!
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What a dull life! Makes me wonder if she was suffering depression that whole time, unable to find joy in all these things around her. Although I do know people who are just critical and unhappy and seem perfectly content to stay that way… 😦
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Thanks for reading. If you have time, check out my second submission, “Annette’s One Pleasure.” It explains where she’s coming from.
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It certainly gives more insight, yes — interesting!
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It does read like a portrait of a woman going through depression without any support. Nicely done.
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Thank you! So very glad you came around to read and comment!
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Since 1972, women’s overall level of happiness has dropped, both relative to where they were forty years ago, and relative to men.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marcus-buckingham/whats-happening-to-womens_b_289511.html
I see many Annettes each day on scootys, cars, buses, metro ……
Lovey word picture.
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Gosh, I’m sorry you see so many Annettes! I suppose I do too and haven’t made a note of it. Thanks for sending the article as well as reading and commenting. Alicia
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You raised an important issue here. Kudos.
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Oh dear, Annette reminds me of quite a few women who lumber and stomp about the place, looking as if they want to kill the world. You certainly wouldn’t want to wish Annette a good day, or she’d most likely bite your head off.
I guess you’ve redeemed her just a little in the 100 words that follow 😉
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I do believe she’s an unhappy person. Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts. And for reading story #2. Alicia
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She got lost in life and in the past.
Life will tug you down but you’ve to keep trying…
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Wow, what a spiral; so skillfully described.
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Thanks! What a lovely comment.
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Such a sad story. I wish she’d broken free.
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This is too good….
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Thanks very much.
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