Annette’s One Pleasure

Posted: January 4, 2017 in Friday Fictioneers

Thanks to a challenge from Neil MacDonald, whose response to my first story “An Unfulfilled Life” was – “I wonder, and this would make another exercise, what was Annette’s one pleasure? Her one saving grace. I know she had one” I’ve broken the Friday Fictioneer rules and posted a second story. Rochelle, I asked Neil and he said he would take the blame.

crook3

Picture by Sandra Crook

Late at night, after the children
tuck themselves into bed
and her husband gently kisses her forehead
and trundles upstairs
Annette slides her father’s chest of watchmaking tools
off the very top shelf in the kitchen.

When she opens the lid
the parts and bits seem to whisper their own names:
Pinion, Arbor, Ebauche, Tourbillon, Incabloc.
Just as Father had,
Annette gently, carefully, fits piece against piece,
cog into spring
challenged by the one thing that
connects her to the gentle person
who loved her best.
She will forever keep the box secret.

(94 words)

 

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Comments
  1. Dear Alicia,

    This is more a prequel, I think. No need for apologies. If you can come up with a second one in one day, I doff my chapeau. Well done times two.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    PS We’ll blame Neil anyway. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Rea Ann Loomis says:

    Wow…what a great imagination….to look at the picture, it’s title and come up with another incredible piece of writing! 

    Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think I like Annette a bit more now… so sad that she could not live her passion, it sounds like a good thing.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. neilmacdon says:

    Yup. That does it. Now she’s a real person to me

    Liked by 1 person

    • Although you might not have meant your comment on my first story to present a challenge, I’m glad I took it that way. It’s always good to have someone say, “This doesn’t really work yet. There must be another side to the story.” Thank you for being that person.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Sandra says:

    I like her a lot better this time, Alicia. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. draliman says:

    I fell bad for calling her life “depressing” now 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. michael1148humphris says:

    I love how this brief illustration changes how we see Annette. Your two stories illustrate so well the power of good story telling.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. rgayer55 says:

    I read this one first, and now can’t wait to read the other. My father’s only keepsake from his dad was an old pocket knife. I was allowed to take it out of the drawer and hold it, but it was always treated as a sacred heirloom. This brought back memories.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. This love story still unwinds in the end…
    Randy

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Laurie Bell says:

    Oh soooo good. Dreams and longing. There is sadness here but a joy too. Well told.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. This is haunting. Really well written Alicia.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Dale says:

    What a wonderful prequel. With joy I returned to the original Annette story and now feel more for her. A spot of joy in her otherwise dull life.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. yarnspinnerr says:

    This completes the tale …..
    Beautifully crafted.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I feel a tiny bit sorry for her now: although sorry for her husband, too. If I was guessing, it seems that in her mind, her husband fell far short of the father she idealised.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I haven’t read the first but I definitely like this.
    The feeling of a strong bond is conveyed very well.

    Like

  16. I read both and it is amazing how they portray such different sides of her. Loved them both.

    Liked by 1 person

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