Drawing the Line

Posted: August 30, 2017 in Friday Fictioneers
Tags: , , , ,

 

I’s been workin’ in Massah’s garden over forty years. Planted beans, corn, rutabagas, watermelon.
Raised his childrens and his chickens. Only rung the necks of dem birds, though I wanted to kill dem boys most every day.
They was mean little ones and downright nasty as growed menfolk.
Killin all kinds of things cause they could.
I drew one big ol line when they shot my man; sold our baby girl.
Luckily no one ever checked the plantings. Deadly Night Shade grows over der in dat corner.
Now dem boys serve as fertilizer, though most peoples think dey be servin in the da war.

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Comments
  1. bbryanthomas says:

    Nice one

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dale says:

    Can’t say I blame her one bit…
    Great lingo here

    Liked by 1 person

  3. James says:

    Terrific “voice”.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Love the voice. I wish I could do voices, but here are limits what I can do… the horrific past well given. Maybe we need monuments of that kind.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Iain Kelly says:

    Great voice, especially in the matter of fact delivery of their tragedy.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. neilmacdon says:

    That was very brave, Alicia

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Good story. It’s really tricky to do dialect (these days, especially Negro dialect.) I have shied away from it lately, preferring instead to try to use cadence and archaic words to get the impression across. Mark Twain pulled it off, but whenever I try it it’s seems like minstrelsy.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. plaridel says:

    most certainly, you can’t mess with this woman. well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Lynn Love says:

    She found her line and she drew it – right there in the garden among the rutabagas. Too sad and close to some awful truths about the way people were treated at the time. Tragic tale Alicia

    Liked by 1 person

  10. A sorry tale cleverly told, and refreshingly different.

    Click to read my FriFic

    Like

  11. draliman says:

    A war is always handy for covering up all manner of things. Nice one!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. rgayer55 says:

    They same timing is everything. I bet they made good fertilizer too.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Dear Lish,

    I’ll bet that corner of the garden is flourishing. Couldn’t happen to nicer boys. Well spoken and written.

    Shalom y’all,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Sandra says:

    Blood and bone is ideal for roses, I’ve found. Mostly I buy mine though. Great story, Alicia.

    Liked by 3 people

  15. Kona says:

    “Raised his childrens and his chickens”
    “I drew one big ol line when they shot my man; sold our baby girl.”
    “though most peoples think dey be servin in the da war”

    Fantastic.

    Like

  16. Fluid Phrase says:

    Loved the writing. The dialect lends its own flavor and it is beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. granonine says:

    Love the history, sad as it is, but loved even more that she got justice for her losses. Perfect.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. michael1148humphris says:

    When the archaeologists dig the bones up, they is going to wonder what happened. A wonderful story.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Jelli says:

    What an excellently woven tale of revenge. Great one, Alicia!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. What a powerful voice expressing sadness, rage and revenge, with no trace of remorse. Love the woman and your writing.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Danny James says:

    Revenge is sweet.

    DJ

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Dahlia says:

    Wow! Loved the matter of fact tone in this story.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. gahlearner says:

    I don’t know where to start. This is so… there’s a wow in every turn of phrase. I think no one else can twist the humour around the tragedy just like you can. Wild applause.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Love the tone.
    That’s on clear line.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. subroto says:

    Fabulous voice in this one. A great story of revenge.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. amiewrites74 says:

    Well those boys got what was coming to them. This is such a great story and the dialect really sets it apart. Loved it!

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Laurie Bell says:

    Oh well told. Great story Alicia. That poor woman! I hope she gets away with it

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Joy Pixley says:

    Wow, what a line to cross. But then, that was the horrible culture those boys lived in, that made them think they could do anything they wanted. (shiver) I usually don’t “like” or comment on the stories about people murdering their spouses and burying them in the garden (there are an awful lot of them in these flash fiction challenges, weirdly enough) but this is different situation altogether. I hope she got away with her rightful justice.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Alice Audrey says:

    Proof positive you should never go too far with the people who keep you alive.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Now that’s what I call justice! People don’t have to be nice to make good fertiliser. In fact the stinker the better. Love it. Excellently written.

    Liked by 1 person

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