It’s Wednesday-Friday and time for another addition of Friday Fictioneers. Thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for posting Sarah Potter’s picture and making us all think. Here is my 99-word story.
Samuel: Two-years-old
“Come to Mamma, baby boy, walk on over here! You can do it.”
Mamma: pretty and bright-eyed, dark-haired, plump.
Samuel: Eleven-years-old
“Honey, Mamma hasn’t got time right now. Run along.”
Mamma: thin, tired all the time.
Samuel: Eighteen-years-old
“Look, Buster, I’ve had it up to here with you. Get outta’ my face.”
Mamma: gaunt, jittery, hair matted and dull.
Samuel: Twenty-years-old
“Packed your bags. They’re by the back door. Get.”
Mamma: skeletal, dull-eyed, her hair gone limp and whispy as spider webs.
For the last time, Samuel shut the door against the chemical stench of crack cocaine.
Dear Lish,
Painfully unique and well done. A lifetime in a hundred words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Rochelle. Those spider webs reminded me of my mom’s hair while she was in hospice. Only my Mamma always remained sweet and kind. Cheers!
LikeLike
That was inventive, Alicia. As Rochelle says, unique and painful
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks. Sorry to go dark again this week. Must be the cobwebs.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh man. This one is sad indeed. Nicely done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ooops, sorry. Next week I’ll try the lighter side. Maybe it’s the rain falling outside my window, although the Pacific Northwest needs more and more of it. Scary dry here.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This hurts to read… but i find joy in Samuel maybe growing up to be a responsible man.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Samuel did manage to avoid the addiction but perhaps stayed too long. Thank you, Bjorn!
LikeLike
A harsh life. It seems Samuel did well to get out of it, even if he couldn’t save his mother.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think it’s a good thing his mom kicked him out. Glad you stopped by, Iain.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A downward spiral. Hopefully what he saw encouraged Samuel to strive for a future of fulfilment.
Click to read my FriFic!
LikeLike
One can surely hope. Thanks, Keith.
LikeLike
Loved the structure and the terse style of this Alicia. Good one.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Sandra. I guess this week I’m playing with different story structures to pull me into an unknown, experimental zone. It’s been kind of fun.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Awful, awful drug Alicia. A terrible blight on so many lives. Loved the structure of this heartbreaking tale
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Lynn. Working with different story structures helps get the mind working.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very true – stretches the old grey matter 🙂
LikeLike
Ow! That’s a powerful one
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you.
LikeLike
Wow, he made it twenty years before ditching her? That’s an accomplishment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love tried to win out. Thanks so much for reading and commenting.
LikeLike
I’ve seen this, somewhat, I can attest to it’s validity.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Dawn.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I saw that train wreck coming but you kept me reading and hoping.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m glad, Tracey. Sadly, I’ll bet you’ve seen a case or two like this. P.S. Glad you’re safe here in the states and hope all is well in Mexico.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. My friends are safe but grieving with the rest of Mexico.
LikeLike
It’s a sad tale indeed but I’m glad you allowed poor Sam to dodge the lifestyle —and the type of men Mom would have hung out with. That’s often where the worst danger comes for kids in those homes.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I had to be nice to Samuel because his mom sure isn’t. Thanks for a thoughtful reply. Alicia
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh dear, poor Mamma went down hill. I loved the whole timeline unfolding here.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Ali. That seemed a good way to unravel the story. I’m glad you appreciated it. Alicia
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a sad story, even though I could feel where it was going, could sense the twist, I had to keep reading, and it still made tears well. You are so accomplished no matter what style you try or invent. great stuff.
LikeLiked by 1 person
And you, Kelvin, are very kind. Thanks very much. Lish
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh my goodness Alicia, that certainly packed a punch. Brilliantly done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
How lovely of you to say so. Thanks!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Did you say experimental? Doesn’t feel like it at all. Very very well written. Two entire lives charted out. Brilliant.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you very much. I appreciate your stopping by and leaving a comment, too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
ooh that last line. Wonderful
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks. I was hoping it wasn’t too much of a “tell” ain’t not a “show.” The100-word limit cuts a lot sometimes – in a good way. It’s made my writing much tighter, that’s for sure.
LikeLike
Shockingly dead-on perfect.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow!!!! Thanks, Jelli.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This story makes me so angry, that people will sell crack cocaine knowing full well what it does. You surprised me, moved me, and reminded me of the hazards from which we must defend our children and grandchildren. Thank you for posting the story.
LikeLiked by 1 person
And thank you for reading the story and leaving a comment. I always appreciate it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My heart broke more with each line.
Beautifully sadly done, Alicia.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Dale, sorry to make you sad!
LikeLike
‘Tis a good thing to make your readers feel..😎
LikeLike
I liked the structure of this. Very sad as we watch her slide downhill. My wife’s sister was into vodka and pills. It was heartbreaking to watch her self-destruct.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m sorry to hear that! I bet it was truly hard to watch and no, without a doubt, there’s nothing you could do. Thanks for sharing your story.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great take on the prompt. I was inspired by his resilience as much as I was disgusted by her weakness.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. I think addiction is an easy road to step onto that turns into a roller coaster that’s hard to get off of.
LikeLiked by 1 person
drugs can do one in. sad story.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hope I never have to find out by personal experience through friends, family or myself.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Omg this was amazingly told. A terrible story
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Laurie!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Scary because it can be so close to the truth for too many individuals.
DJ
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know. Sad how it’s happening to so many people now. Thanks for reading and commenting.
LikeLike
That is just so tragic and vivid biography of someone ruined by addiction. It happens all too often, and I can understand why someone would rather leave, than see someone they once loved (or still do love) kill themselves. Anyway, there’s no helping a person when they’re that far gone …not usually anyway. Excellently written, Alicia.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Sarah. I think someone living with a person with an addiction has to be VERY strong.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, the heart hurts. What a sad–and unfortunately too often true, picture of a life.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It seems drug addiction is becoming all too prevalent. Thanks for reading my story.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A stark reminder of how drugs can kill anything, even love.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, you are so right! Thanks, Liz.
LikeLike
Maybe, just maybe she realized that she was a lost cause and didn’t want her son to be around her anymore, thereby sparing him. Good one, Alicia. Very dark and powerful.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think that’s exactly what’s happening! Good catch. Thank you.
LikeLike
Time passes, can’t be returned again, and there’s Samuel’s life…I hope he learns from her mistakes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I definitely think he abhors her life. Thanks so much for reading and leaving a thoughtful comment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh. Sad. A story too often told, I”m afraid.
LikeLike
I’m afraid so. Thanks.
LikeLike
The ending changes it all. Nice one.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you!
LikeLike
Heartbreaking story.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry… Glad you stopped by.
LikeLiked by 1 person
No need to say sorry. It’s a sad tale that’s true to life, unfortunately.
LikeLike
Oh dear. This is so sad, but he needed to shut the door and walk away…
LikeLike
Yes, it’s time. Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for meter reading my taradiddle. Oh. Sad. A taradiddle too often told, I”m afraid.
LikeLike
Thank you for introducing me to the word “taradiddle.” And thanks for reading my work.
LikeLike