Susan’s Birthday Party

Posted: March 28, 2018 in Friday Fictioneers
Tags: , , , , , ,

Yep! It’s Wednesday-Friday. Thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for posting the picture prompt taken by Fatima Fakier Deria. And now, my 100-word story.

Susan’s dress is perfect, tiny blue flowers and cream-colored lace. New white stockings and black satin shoes.
Last night Mama pin-curled her hair. Now it hangs in bouncy blonde ringlets around her small, freckled face.
Anticipation lights her from within.
Nine-years-old today!

An hour passes. No one comes. Two hours. A breeze rises. She puts on a sweater that doesn’t compliment her dress.
Raindrops leak from the sky one by one until mud splatters her stockings and shoes.
Mama calls. Susan doesn’t go in.

Finally, a rock tumbles under the fence.
The attached note reads, “You knew no one would come.”

Comments
  1. k rawson says:

    Aw, poor thing. I can see all of it and I want to go to her party myself! And bring a pony.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. neilmacdon says:

    God, that’s brutal. And I thought when I started reading that it was going to be cute

    Liked by 2 people

  3. James says:

    That is horribly sad. Fortunately, my grandson who just turned nine has had a better time of it.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Somebody knew about it and rubbed it in. So she’s not popular?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. So sad, especially for a child. There have been stories in the media about kids not turning up for birthday parties. Devastating for the birthday child.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Iain Kelly says:

    Poor Susan. How sad for her, and I suspect it is perhaps not her own fault that no one has come.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Moon says:

    Is Susan a ghost?
    So much mystery and intrigue in this story!
    Loved the descriptions of Susan’s Lovely attire.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Dale says:

    Oh how awful! Which begs the question… why would no one come? Is she a mean girl or just an unpopular girl for no good reason… Children are horrid little beings.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. jillyfunnell says:

    Such a sad story. Children can be very cruel. Fundamentally I think a child’s birthday party is best attended by close family then hopefully there is plenty of love and no mean-minded guests/non-guests.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Ouch. Heartbreaking. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. plaridel says:

    poor girl, she can have all her cake and eat it, too. i wonder what she had done to deserve this humiliation.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I had a birthday party like that once. It rained and the other moms cancelled. At least my sister came. You do not forget these things, ever. Poor baby.
    Very vivid and painful.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Makes me think of the song “It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to.” Sad tale in the world of a nine year old and what a meanie that rock thrower is. You stirred the emotions with this one.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Lynn Love says:

    Are the neighbourhood kids just mean – or is Susan a horrible child that hardly anyone other than her mother likes? You do get them! Love the scene setting, the mismatched jumper and that rolling rock at the end adds a real tone of the sinister. Really good tale Alicia

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Sandra says:

    That was like a knife turning in my heart. Good one, Alicia, good on the detail.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Dear Lish,

    What a horrid thing to happen to a child. This one pierces the heart and socks the gut. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  17. draliman says:

    That’s such a sad story. Poor Susan 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  18. yarnspinnerr says:

    No happy memories for Susan to reminisce. Unfortunate,

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Jelli says:

    yep, know that feel all too well. Excellent write.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. pennygadd51 says:

    Ooh! Ow! That one hurts, especially that last line. Very well told, Alicia. I loved how you started so brightly, and then pulled the rug from under our feet. I read about Susan’s new clothes and hair-do, and thought “Lucky girl!” And then no-one came to her party. Ouch! Oof!
    Actually, of course, bullying to that extent is a very serious matter. I hope Susan’s mother can find a way of helping her.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Penny! Bullying is just so mean! I can’t figure out why kids do it! I was both a giver and receiver of bullying in grade school until the nuns got a hold of me. After that, I no longer bullied but was a recipient for a few years. My revenge? Growing up to be a pretty nice person. So glad you stopped by! Cheers.

      Like

  21. granonine says:

    Horrible. I hate how kids can be so vile and mean, often with their parents encouraging them. Poor little girl, I hope she grows up to be a gorgeous, smart, successful woman who leaves all that pitiful meanness behind her.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. lisarey1990 says:

    Aw, that’s so sad. When she gets older, hopefully she’ll meet many friends who appreciate her. Great story on a very important topic which a lot of us have experienced in some way.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. gahlearner says:

    Oh, kids can be so mean. It also reminded me of a story I read in the media recently about a boy who had a party about his favourite tv show (I think) and no one showed up. HIs sister posted it on twitter, and actors from the show sent him their love, promised to come next year, and many, many people promised to come, too. I’m afraid Susan lives in pre-internet times (guessing from the hair-do). Poor kid, great story.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Unlike the end of my story, the one about the boy and the tv show has a spot-on ending! I think kids are mean so they can establish themselves in the pack. But wowzers! Sometimes it goes too far. So glad you stopped by.

      Liked by 1 person

      • gahlearner says:

        Yeah, when it’s a few against a few, it’s easier to bear. But a pack singling one out and not one friend remaining: that’s extremely mean.

        Liked by 1 person

  24. Anand says:

    It’s heart breaking!

    Like

  25. Awwwe, that is just so cruel and heart-wrenching.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. A positive start, but such a sad end. Beautifully written Alicia.

    Click to read my 99 words!

    Liked by 1 person

  27. trentpmcd says:

    Poor Susan. I hope she finds a friend…

    Liked by 1 person

  28. James McEwan says:

    This seems so cruel for the child – I feel for her. A biting story and heart rendering tale, indeed.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. I felt like the kid who started to sit down and someone yanked the chair out from under them. BAM! It was a hard landing. Maybe we need those sometimes to jar us back to reality. Life isn’t always fair, or a bowl of cherries.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Sarah Ann says:

    Well you weren’t pulling any punches today. Such beautiful and dainty descriptions to start out, the clashing jumper had me worried, and then the stone landed in my lap with a jolt. Poor Susan, I’m wondering what she did wrong.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Dahlia says:

    Why would she know no one would come? I wonder if she’s been mean? The descriptions in the first stanza were just wow.

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Dan Bohn says:

    The old note on a rock message,,,, That was brilliant.

    Liked by 1 person

  33. Oh Poor Susan… when I read this it made me think that the lord of the flies can actually work well with all girls.

    Liked by 1 person

  34. How cruel!
    This one really tugged on my heart.

    Liked by 1 person

  35. Oh so poignant – you really capture that minute by minute expectation of a little girl, leading up to her party. So sad.

    Like

Where are you headed without leaving a reply?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.