Today Pegman took our merry band of flash fiction writers to Gwynedd, Wales. Thanks, Karen, for taking me up on my suggestion! A couple of weeks ago a picture of Gwynedd was the wallpaper on my computer and I thought it looked fascinating. I’ve gone over my word-count by one after whittling fifteen words out of the story (sorry).
Had you been lucky, you would have seen
nineteen barefoot girls slip into the glen,
flowers in hand, hearts full of joy.
Perhaps you would have averted your eyes
as they removed blouses and corsets
before lacing the hems
of their striped linen skirts
over rabbit skin belts round their waists.
Without a doubt
the desire
to gently touch a shoulder or knee,
would have overwhelmed you
for their skin glistened
whiter than the inside of an oyster shell
dropped upon the sand.
And your heart would have soared
when the glen filled with laughter
as the girls braided ferns
through silken blonde hair,
their own or that of their sisters’.
One step closer
you could have admired
the silver-blue fire of their wide-set eyes.
Now it’s too late,
that color is lost to the world.
What a day you missed
simply because you were
too many centuries away.
What a fascinating and rather beautiful poem. I loved “the silver-blue fire
of their wide-set eyes.
Now it’s too late, that color is lost to the world.”
Very nice, Alicia.
BTW your link to the froggy doesn’t seem to have worked – I only found your post because I follow you with email notification.
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Thanks, Penny. I’m so glad you follow me through email. It took 2 hours to write this little missive! Crazy how things morph.
I’ve figured out the problem! It shows up now.
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Lovely poem
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Thanks, Josh
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You have brought them back to life with alacrity, Lish. A most sensual and natural poem if ever there was. Beautiful and sorrowful all at the same time.
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Thanks, Kelvin. They started out as witches with candles at night! Funny where the muse takes us. I’m so glad you stopped by.
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This is enchanting! The last line left me with a shiver. That picture is amazing!
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Thank you, Karen. I found that picture – somewhere on a website about Gwynedd. Now I want to visit it. Thanks for reading.
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Sounds like a beautiful dream… Really liked the enchanting vision you portrayed. Very beautiful.
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Thanks, Jelli. That picture envokes a dream, don’t you think?
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It invites a lot of dreams, schemes, and mayhem indeed! 🙂 ❤
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Such a beautiful scene. It’s a good job we don’t have time travel, because plenty would want to go back and see, and interfere.
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Perhaps! I hadn’t thought about that! I’ve always hoped that heaven (if I make it there) is a place where you can visit what has been, from nothing but a stew of critters in the sea to the end of time and as an occupant you can observe whatever you like. Thanks for reading.
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Oh I like your idea of being able to flit about and observe without having an effect – much better. And a nice reward for being good and making it to heaven.
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What lovely words! Most enchanting. I can picture the scene.
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Thanks so much! I’m so glad you can see the girls. Alicia
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Dear Lish,
Too many centuries away indeed. Lovely visual poem.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks, Rochelle. I was trying to get all the senses in but missed the sense of smell.
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I felt touched by the enchantment within your hypnotic poem. Girls full of energy and mystical.
Loved the last line. Magical.
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Thanks so much.
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What gorgeous words and imagery you use and the perfect photograph too. Just love so many lines in this – those lovely, ethereal girls lacing flowers in their hair, the fact their belts are made of rabbit skin (such a stunning, mysterious detail, rabbits and hares having links to magical worlds). You make me feel that there was more to this than a dance and that somehow, they’re still dancing somewhere, if only we could look in the right way. Just beautiful
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Thanks, Lynn. This did start with witchery but, once it got out of control, I pulled it back a notch to fit the 150-word limit. As I told Kelvin, the first edition had older women going to the glen with candles and …
Heck! The muse turned it into winsome young girls with flowers.
So very glad you stopped by. “See” you on Wednesday in the midst of Friday Fictioneers?
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I love how our characters/story take over and we just do our best to keep up!
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Me, too, Dale! There you are, writing along and then characters go binache and take over. Kinda’ fun.
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I liked the way you went with it – a subtle hint of ‘otherness’ but leaving the details to the reader. A perfect pitch. Yes, see you Wednesday for another Fictioneers 🙂
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So beautifully done, Lish.
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Thanks very much.
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A lovely poem. Maybe if we start taking care of trees and plants, they’ll be back to dance again. I certainly didn’t see any sign of them the last time I was in Gwynedd 😦
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That’s certainly not a good sign. Thanks, Ali.
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I liked the late line the best. I thought well, if I missed it this year, I’ll get there next year, but no, I’m “centuries too late.” Great ending.
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Thank you. I’m glad the last line worked for you.
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A very beautiful poem.
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Thank you!
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