Correcting a Mistake

Posted: May 30, 2018 in Friday Fictioneers
Tags: , , ,

Today’s photo was provided by Russell Gayor’s wife, Connie. I tried my best to write a serious story, but when I saw our fellow Fictioneer standing in a hole filled with mud and water, I had to go on the light side. Thanks, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for posting it.

Used to be, Ernest was the best darn farmer in these parts.
Long before the 4th of July rolled around
his corn was way higher than your kneecap,
and his beets was bigger en bowlin balls.
I kid you not.

Then he up and married Widow Smith.
Worst dang thing he ever coulda’ done.
She don’t like nothin green on her plate.
Says corn makes her intestines ache,
and beets turn her teeth red.

Personally, I think she might be a vampire.
She sure sucked the life out of our Ernest.

Say, now that I think on it,
I ain’t seen her round for a while.

 

 

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Comments
  1. neilmacdon says:

    Great comic voice in this, Alicia

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lynn Love says:

    Ooh, lovely voice Lish. And you created some very strong characters in next to no words – the farmer, his veg-phobic wife and the narrator, all fleshed out. Lovely read

    Liked by 1 person

  3. trentpmcd says:

    If I remember correctly, I heard Widow Smith say something like, “It’s your stupid vegetable garden or me.” That was an awfully big hole he was digging…

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Who ever plants any beets six feet deep?
    I can also imagine that his corn grew even higher afterwards.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Maybe she’s pushing up tomatoes.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Dear Lish,

    I’m guessin’ Widder Smith is finally doing something positive for Ernest as fertilizer. You made me laugh. 😀

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Dale says:

    Rochelle done stole my comment… was gonna say he finally found some use fer her…
    So funny!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. plaridel says:

    for sure, a guy can only take so much punishment. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Sandra says:

    Terrific voice. Loved the punchline.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Ha ha – loved reading this – loved the voice. The last line was brilliant!

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Liked by 1 person

  11. draliman says:

    Nice, I especially like the second-last paragraph 🙂
    I have the same feelings towards veggies!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Terrific tale made even more entertaining by the narrator’s voice! Great.

    Click to read my FriFic tale

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Well, vampire or no, she’s now serving as fertilizer for the corn and beets.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Liz Young says:

    Love the voice. There are a lot of FF who’ve actually met Russell, clearly!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Such a well told tale Alicia, and witty. I enjoyed it a lot.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. jillyfunnell says:

    I think Widow Smith’s ended up with a fate worse than stained teeth and pain in her gut!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Sarah Ann says:

    Oh no, poor Ernest. He does sound green fingered and grew all the foods I love. I hope Widow Smith is shrivelled and unhealthy somewhere.
    (Sorry, I can’t give a serious comment on your fun story this week 🙂 – Blame Russ in Boots.)

    Liked by 1 person

  18. subroto says:

    They do say to use blood and bone fertiliser. Maybe that’s why Ernest was the best darn farmer in these parts. Fun take on the prompt.

    Like

  19. Thank you. I also use blood fertilizer to deter deer in my garden. Sometimes it works.

    Like

  20. Jelli says:

    Ach, but I tried to respond to your comment on my story, and durn it, I accidentally deleted the comment…. So, my response is: “Some weeks, we just can’t dig ourselves outa the hole, can we? LOL!” just can’t get my pinky to type correct today.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Love it. Did she get him to dig the hole, crafty lady?

    Liked by 1 person

  22. ceayr says:

    Terrific piece of comic writing, Alicia, love it!

    Liked by 1 person

  23. prior.. says:

    I would love to try some of those beets – not for taste – but for blood health –
    and speaking of that — nice way to share how sometimes someone does suck the life out of someone (like a parasite) –
    and nice ending – where did she go???

    ha

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m glad you stopped by. I wish I could share some of Ernest’s beets with you.

      Liked by 1 person

      • prior.. says:

        well that is okay – because I wonder if bowling ball big made them lose flavor – cos sometimes those grande veggies do that – hah! Let me just pretend so I don’t feel like I am missing out (sour grapes applied ) – just kidding….
        maybe we can have a virtual share – I will take mine in juice form from the juicer please

        Like

      • prior.. says:

        oh and after reading your latest reply (and thx for that by the way) such a large hole seems even more fitting for such ginormous beets

        Liked by 1 person

  24. Laurie Bell says:

    Hahaha oh dear. Sounds like tge garden may have a new fertilizer

    Liked by 1 person

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