The Price of Looking Away

Posted: June 13, 2018 in Friday Fictioneers
Tags: ,

Today’s thought-provoking photo was provided by Jean L Hays. Thanks, Rochelle, for posting it for the Friday Fictioneers to mull over and create a 100-word story.

Time was Angie felt like a pretty bird.
Time was Lester was kind. Gentle.
He’d give her small gifts. River rocks. A sand dollar.
One morning he brought home a clutch of robin eggs
bluer than his eyes.
She made him put them back.

Now Angie feels as if she’s
cooped up with a tiger.
Lester’s gone all crazy. Mean.
He steals things or rips them apart.
Hair combs. Stockings. Earrings.
Anything that makes her feel feminine and soft.

Angie knows it’s her fault
and doesn’t complain.
She let Lester’s daddy hit the boy
too many times.

  1. neilmacdon says:

    Grim and tellingly written, Alicia

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Iain Kelly says:

    Interesting take on the prompt Alicia, I liked it, very chilling in portraying Lester’s downfall.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. StuHN says:

    The battered take fault unjustly

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Dear Lish,

    I’m sure she’s not the one at fault. My guess is that she took as many hits as Lester and couldn’t have stopped his daddy. Well done.



    Liked by 3 people

  5. You totally had me thinking Lester was her husband.
    Loved that reveal! (As sad as it was)

    Liked by 2 people

  6. lisarey1990 says:

    A brilliant piece.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. 4963andypop says:

    Wow. Nice country voice. How boys change when they become men. But the final line is the kicker, when mom takes the blame on herself.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Woah, that was intense. Well-written.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Sandra says:

    That wasn’t so much a twist at the end as a beautifully engineered swerve. Really well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. draliman says:

    I’m sure she took as much punishment as Lester. I just hope it’s not too late to save him from a violent life.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Now that was an excellent read. The reveal at the end of who Lester was took me completely by surprise. Brilliantly done, Alicia.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Liked by 1 person

  12. gahlearner says:

    Yes, I at first thought it was the husband, too, and was all into ‘victim blaming’ and so on. Lester’s a different case. He learns from Daddy that you use violence when you don’t get what you want. The only thing Angie could have done was take the kid and leave. But that’s not easy. Powerful writing, Alicia. As always.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. So sad…. the way the you change under the language of fists… so sad.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. pennygadd51 says:

    That’s such a sad story. You’ve written it well and powerfully.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. plaridel says:

    the name lester sounded sinister to me. my intuition proved to be right. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  16. granonine says:

    She’d better watch out. Lester is escalating.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. jillyfunnell says:

    This is very well-written, Alicia. Describing destruction of anything that enhances her femininity sends the reader a powerful message. And the fact that she takes the blame for another person’s actions is totally tragic.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Laurie Bell says:

    Oooo this was already creepy and dark then that last line… her son? Oh gosh… creepy as

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Liz Young says:

    Take him away now! Teach him there’s a better way of life. Thisis heartbreaking.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Dale says:

    So very well done. Learning the ways of Daddy and Mama sitting by watching and taking the brunt and blaming herself for not being strong enough to get away…

    Liked by 1 person

  21. yarnspinnerr says:

    A very different take …. like where you took this prompt.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Sarah Ann says:

    That packs a punch. A wonderfully told, incredibly sad story. So affecting.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Poor Lester was beat like a drum. I imagine she was too. Sad tale.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Lynn Love says:

    Love how you wove their tale, referencing birds and using that imagery to illustrate the damage that was done to them both. It feels so real, this relationship. Lester bringing her gifts when he’s little, though the eggs strike an uncomfortable note and hint all is not well. Then his violence and her acceptance and self blame – feels so truthful and well observed. Heartbreaking Lish

    Liked by 1 person

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