Saving Grace

Posted: June 27, 2018 in Friday Fictioneers
Tags: , , , , , ,

Today’s picture prompt was provided by our Fairy Blog Mother, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. I imagine this room is in her home and people gather ’round on couches and chairs, wine in hand, to listen to music and laugh.

Gracie nestled across his chest.
The little-girl-heat on a swampy night was stifling.
Thompson didn’t mind. He loved the child from her black curls down to her shell-pink toenails.

A breeze lifted the smell of fish spawn and hyacinths.
Home.
The music of wind chimes, bullfrogs and coyotes vied with piano music from Gator’s Bar all lit up across the Teche.
Glasses clinked.
A woman laughed.
That was the troublesome part.

Sighing, Thompson stepped into the bateau, baby in one arm, suitcase in the other, and
the vision of a tight red dress and stiletto heels dancing around in his head.

 

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Comments
  1. neilmacdon says:

    Lovely smells, lovely sounds

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dale says:

    So much left unsaid yet we were right there with all those sights and scents…
    Well done, Lish

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lynn Love says:

    This has so got to be from a longer piece! You create such an atmosphere, such a sense of place and character in so few words, Lish. We’ve slipped into the world so easily it feels like a jolt coming out again. Perfect

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Iain Kelly says:

    No Thompson you fool! Great scene setting, i could feel the heat and the oppresive atmosphere.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. draliman says:

    Wonderful imagery, especially once I’d Googled what a “Teche” is and got a location 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Emily says:

    I love the imagery in this one! Lovely.

    Like

  7. That was so poignant. And the title so apt. I could almost feel his sense of loss.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. ceayr says:

    Great stuff, very atmospheric.
    And I want more details about the woman in the heels!

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Sandra says:

    That was a terrific turn in the piece, the woman’s laughter. The key to it all. Beautifully done.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Liz Young says:

    Lovely imagery.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. A hopeful tone to this piece. Well done

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Joy Pixley says:

    Great sense of place in this piece, I really heard and saw and felt the details! I’ll just have to trust that the woman has done something worse than wear a sexy dress, to deserve having her baby stolen away, but at least Thompson seems to have good intentions.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Dear Lish,

    I love the way the title helps tell the story. As our MIA Mr. MacIlroy use to remind me, “A good title adds another 100 words to the story.” Yours certainly did. The descriptions had me right there. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Great story, Lish. A lot came through in the parts that were unsaid. I have a feeling they’ll be all right.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. notestowomen says:

    Very atmospheric with the sounds and smells. Also, the father’s love is so touching. I think Grace and he will fare well.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. granonine says:

    You’ve given us a picture of people, sounds, textures, smells–well done 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  17. So many times we read a story like this and it is the woman escaping from a man. I like how you showed a different but very real perspective.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Sarah Ann says:

    Such sultriness, love and sadness. The pictures are so well drawn and the ‘That was the troublesome part’ gives us so much to wonder about why he’s leaving.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. To create such a scene in so few words is awe-inspiring. Brilliant Alicia.

    Click to read my FriFic tale

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Everything’s great about this, atmosphere, location and emotions. A great read

    Liked by 1 person

  21. A very rich and emotional story in so few words. Very nice! =)

    Liked by 1 person

  22. plaridel says:

    you have all my senses engaged this time. well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Alice Audrey says:

    Sounds like he’s got the best part well in hand, even if he has to leave the glamour behind.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Ellie Scott says:

    So vividly told that I felt like I was there with them. Love this line: “The little-girl-heat on a swampy night was stifling.”

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Love the detail. Very atmospheric and mysterious. I want more! Well done, Alicia.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. lisarey1990 says:

    Such fantastic atmosphere.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. prior.. says:

    after reading the comments i see the rescue – but it is also nice to have a few angles to take.
    when I got to the part with the red dress – well sadly I felt a certain reality for some women – and sometimes the partner lets them do their thing because they need the money….

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, and that is a very sad part of life. Thanks for viewing the story from a different angle.

      Liked by 1 person

      • prior.. says:

        🙂

        when we first moved to out town – and when I used to go to church (I do not go every week cos I feel that my faith is actually fortified without the forced weekly going) anyhow, the one week someone put an anonymous prayer request in and asked for prayer so “she could stop being a call girl and focus more on her hubs and family”
        it was sobering and I think some get sucked in by the money

        Liked by 1 person

  28. Beautifully told Alicia- love the sensuousness and vivid atmosphere you create – pierced through with sadness and loss. Great story.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. I think sometimes the best place for a child is not with her mother… but it’s way to hard for one person to judge

    Liked by 1 person

  30. jillyfunnell says:

    I thought he was resisting the allure of a stranger. Now I understand what he was really doing I like him even more. Wonderful steamy atmosphere in this story.

    Liked by 1 person

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