Today’s picture prompt was provided by our Fairy Blog Mother, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. I imagine this room is in her home and people gather ’round on couches and chairs, wine in hand, to listen to music and laugh.
Gracie nestled across his chest.
The little-girl-heat on a swampy night was stifling.
Thompson didn’t mind. He loved the child from her black curls down to her shell-pink toenails.
A breeze lifted the smell of fish spawn and hyacinths.
Home.
The music of wind chimes, bullfrogs and coyotes vied with piano music from Gator’s Bar all lit up across the Teche.
Glasses clinked.
A woman laughed.
That was the troublesome part.
Sighing, Thompson stepped into the bateau, baby in one arm, suitcase in the other, and
the vision of a tight red dress and stiletto heels dancing around in his head.
Lovely smells, lovely sounds
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Thanks, Neil.
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So much left unsaid yet we were right there with all those sights and scents…
Well done, Lish
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Thanks, Dale. My motto this week was “be nice to children. ” 🙂
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You might want to share that motto with Ayr. 😊
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Hokey Smokes! Right? He be a mean man this week.
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So deliciously descriptive.
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Thanks, Louise!
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This has so got to be from a longer piece! You create such an atmosphere, such a sense of place and character in so few words, Lish. We’ve slipped into the world so easily it feels like a jolt coming out again. Perfect
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You, my dear, always see so much. Thank you, Lish.
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My pleasure Lish 🙂
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No Thompson you fool! Great scene setting, i could feel the heat and the oppresive atmosphere.
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I’m afraid this hasn’t come across quite like I wanted. Thompson is taking the child away from a very promiscuous mother. My husband also saw him being drawn towards the woman-in-red instead of saving the baby from her. Thanks for reading!
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I read it the way you described. The allure of the woman in red sounded like a thing of the past, and good riddance!
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Oh, thanks!
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I agree about the setting – felt like we were there
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Wonderful imagery, especially once I’d Googled what a “Teche” is and got a location 🙂
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Sorry ’bout that. For years I’ve read a series of books by James Lee Burke ~ the setting is Bayou Teche. I thought about adding a link, but . . . Thank you for being interested enough to Google it.
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I love the imagery in this one! Lovely.
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Thanks. I want to go to Bayou Teche sometime. Smell swamp water, watch alligators slither into the water and hear bullfrogs at night.
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Yes, I can understand why – the very description of it leaves such a lasting impression.
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That was so poignant. And the title so apt. I could almost feel his sense of loss.
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Thank you. I’m thinking I need to go down to the bayou someday.
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Great stuff, very atmospheric.
And I want more details about the woman in the heels!
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Ha! That’s fun. Maybe she’ll appear in another story! Thanks for reading and commenting, c.e. (what does that stand for, anyway? Or is a deep dark secret 😉 )
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That was a terrific turn in the piece, the woman’s laughter. The key to it all. Beautifully done.
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Thanks, Sandra. I’m so very glad that worked.
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Lovely imagery.
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Thanks, Liz.
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A hopeful tone to this piece. Well done
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Finally, right? I needed to save a child instead of doing them wrong.
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Great sense of place in this piece, I really heard and saw and felt the details! I’ll just have to trust that the woman has done something worse than wear a sexy dress, to deserve having her baby stolen away, but at least Thompson seems to have good intentions.
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Thompson is a good man and father. Thanks, Joy
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Dear Lish,
I love the way the title helps tell the story. As our MIA Mr. MacIlroy use to remind me, “A good title adds another 100 words to the story.” Yours certainly did. The descriptions had me right there. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks. I’ve used the title a few times to give insight. It surely does help. Sometimes I miss the titles of people’s stories and stick my foot in it. I miss our MIA Mr. MacIlroy. I’m so glad you stopped by. You are a busy lady. How did your last event go?
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I miss him, too. Although we do chat from time to time. The event went fairly well. https://rochellewisoff.com/2018/06/25/its-wine-oclock/ Fewer people meant fewer sales than last year. A good day nonetheless. A promising invitation came from it which I posted on my new Upcoming Events page.
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I’m so glad you got an invite to the wine fest in Independence. My cousin lives there. Missouri through and through, she is. Cheers, dear.
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Great story, Lish. A lot came through in the parts that were unsaid. I have a feeling they’ll be all right.
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Thanks, Russell. I do think Grace and Thompson will be just fine.
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Very atmospheric with the sounds and smells. Also, the father’s love is so touching. I think Grace and he will fare well.
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Thanks. I think these two are on the road to better times.
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You’ve given us a picture of people, sounds, textures, smells–well done 🙂
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Thank you.
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So many times we read a story like this and it is the woman escaping from a man. I like how you showed a different but very real perspective.
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Thanks for noticing that, Dawn.
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Such sultriness, love and sadness. The pictures are so well drawn and the ‘That was the troublesome part’ gives us so much to wonder about why he’s leaving.
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Thanks, Sarah Ann. Always keep ’em guessing, I suppose.
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To create such a scene in so few words is awe-inspiring. Brilliant Alicia.
Click to read my FriFic tale
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What a lovely thing to say. Thanks, Keith.
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Everything’s great about this, atmosphere, location and emotions. A great read
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You are very kind, sir. Thank you.
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A very rich and emotional story in so few words. Very nice! =)
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Thank you, Brenda.
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you have all my senses engaged this time. well done.
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Oh, goody. That was my goal. Thanks so much
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Sounds like he’s got the best part well in hand, even if he has to leave the glamour behind.
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He does indeed. Thanks, Alice
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So vividly told that I felt like I was there with them. Love this line: “The little-girl-heat on a swampy night was stifling.”
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Goody! That was one of my favorites, too. Thank you.
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Love the detail. Very atmospheric and mysterious. I want more! Well done, Alicia.
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Thanks, Sascha.
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Such fantastic atmosphere.
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Thank you.
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after reading the comments i see the rescue – but it is also nice to have a few angles to take.
when I got to the part with the red dress – well sadly I felt a certain reality for some women – and sometimes the partner lets them do their thing because they need the money….
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Oh, and that is a very sad part of life. Thanks for viewing the story from a different angle.
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🙂
when we first moved to out town – and when I used to go to church (I do not go every week cos I feel that my faith is actually fortified without the forced weekly going) anyhow, the one week someone put an anonymous prayer request in and asked for prayer so “she could stop being a call girl and focus more on her hubs and family”
it was sobering and I think some get sucked in by the money
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Beautifully told Alicia- love the sensuousness and vivid atmosphere you create – pierced through with sadness and loss. Great story.
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Thank you. I’m glad my story touched something in you. Alicia
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I think sometimes the best place for a child is not with her mother… but it’s way to hard for one person to judge
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I agree on both counts. Thanks, Bjorn.
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I thought he was resisting the allure of a stranger. Now I understand what he was really doing I like him even more. Wonderful steamy atmosphere in this story.
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Thank you, Jilly. Gracie is in good hands for sure.
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