Today’s Friday Fictioneers photo prompt was submitted by J Hardy Carroll and posted by our fairy blog mother, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. I’m deep in the throes of editing my novel so have been absent for a while. But, because we have been snowed in for about a week, I thought I’d poke my head out of a drift and give a stab at a little flash fiction.
In my eyes, your reflection shows nothing more than violence and greed.
What did you say? These are not entities that reflect?
You are wrong. Your violence reflects in the bruise on my cheek, shattered dishes, holes punched in walls.
Stolen hearts prove your greed. Look at your children.
Their sparkling eyes should reflect love given freely, yet, they cower in corners when you walk in the room.
Your heart is colder than stone. Your criss-cross love-hate attitude creates heartache and pain.
Leave us. Leave us now. Before this woman who once loved you, stings you with much more than words.
Heart-wrenching and powerful, Alicia
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Thank you, Neil.
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I think he’d be wise to do as she says. What a dreadful situation.
Click to read my FriFic tale!
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He’d better run! Thanks, Keith.
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Tragic story. I hope he gives her peace before the inevitable happens. Good take on the photo prompt, Alicia.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Thanks very much!
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A powerful story, one that won’t have a positive ending if he doesn’t leave. She’s had enough, especially, I imagine, when seeing the damage being done to her children.
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Mother bears! Thanks, Brenda.
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Loved the use of the reflections. Well done.
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Thanks, Iain. That’s definitely what caught my eye. Plus that nasty wasp nest! Yoiks!
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Well done, Alicia. Definitely she needs to leave with the kids because these violent men don’t change…
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Don’t know why I keep leaning toward out of whack families. Thanks for reading.
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A powerful and well put story, which was great to read
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Thanks, Michael.
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Cleverly done.
I like how you showed both sides of the conversation with just one voice.
Powerful and sad.
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Thanks very much. I hoped that would work.
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Dear Lish
What a great story – you’ve obviously been refreshed by editing your novel (I hope that’s going well?)! And it’s such a clever and oblique take on the prompt too, with the reflections and the hornets’ nest. I love the way you make it so extremely specific that violence and greed have direct, visible, physical consequences. I hope that man clears out and leaves the family to rebuild a healthy emotional life.
Shalom
Penny
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Dear Penny, I think being away from Flash Fiction for a few weeks helped. Plus, I am deep into editing. I put The Rain Cape aside for more than six months, mulling things over and now I’m on an editing roll. Thanks for asking and thanks for stopping by.
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What a bastard!
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Yep!
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Sounds like he needs to get out now. I almost wish he doesn’t so he gets the consequences, but she’ll probably then be the one who gets into trouble.
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She would because I think she’s had it! Mother Bear and all. Thanks for reading.
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Hard hitting warning, from a woman who has had enough.
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Indeed. She’s fed up with his meanness. Thanks, James.
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I so love your writing, Lish, but it’s here that I first really fell for it. You pack such a punch in your 100 words. The sadness, apathy, the pain is so heavy and beautifully told. I’ve missed your stories; glad you’re back too! xo
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Thanks, Dawn, what a sweet thing to say. Not sure how often I’ll pop in. I’ve added about five pages to the opening scene of The Rain Cape which, as you know, changes so many scenes in following chapters. Cheers! Lish
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WHOA!! Way to go! I hope to read them at some point. xo
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🙂
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Great story! Glad you came out for a visit, too! 🙂 ❤
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Ah, thanks, Jelli! I’ll pop over and read your story!
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Dear :Lish,
Powerful words. I hope she’s saying them aloud.
I’m in the throes of writing my novel. Hard to keep up with FF. Glad you came out to play.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Man, I get that. You are a superstar what with writing and painting and going to fairs. I admire you! Lish
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I am woefully lagging behind in FF this week. I figure I’ll catch up by Tuesday. 😉
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Me, too! I’m having a devil of a time leaving comments. WP is having me log in each time I try. Driving me crazy! And all the “likes” people leave are ending up in junk mail!!! Is this the new update they promised?
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There’s a speech which can’t be withstood. “Criss-cross, love-hate – great language.
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Thanks so much, Patrick. I was afraid it might be one too many hyphenated words.
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Love the voice. Hell hath no fury like this woman, I fear. Powerful writing.
I hope the novel editing is going well!
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Thanks, K. It feels good to stretch my fingers in FF again. The editing is going well but taxes these old brain cells. Thanks for asking!
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good for her. finally, she has realized that he’s beyond saving.
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It’s him or her.
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A heartfelt story of how women endure, and how the qualities of happiness are corroded by such abuse. Made powerful because the tone is one of endurance til breaking point. Good writing Alicia.
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Thanks so much.
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You know, violence begets violence. It’s incredible that she’s giving him fair warning.
Sometimes, that isn’t always the case. I’m glad she’s facing his evil ways and ridding herself
of him. Have a super weekend, Alicia.
Isadora 😎
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Thanks for reading and leaving such a well thought out comment. You have a grand weekend as well. Lish
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😎
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I think the other person should leave. This woman & her children are better off without them. Very, very powerful write.
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Oh, she’s kicking him out with strong words and a fist if needed. Thanks!
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It sounds like the mother and children would be so much better off if he left. Very emotional piece, Alicia.
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Thanks!
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I like how you use the idea of reflections in this. A very dark story of our times, I feel. You capture the tragedy very well.
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Thanks, Margaret.
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I love stories written in the second person, particularly when they are dripping in bitterness, rancour and foreboding, as this is. Beautifully done.
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Thanks so much, Sandra. I think I was channeling you. I’ve noticed you often write in the second person. I love it.
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I think it works especially well for stories with an accusatory tone. Have a nice weekend!
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It does. Have a nice weekend yourself. Thanks.
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Wow, what a story., powerful, angry, heart-breaking. The voice, the pace, it’s perfect. I love the focus on the reflections, that’s so unique.
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Thanks! As always, I’m so very glad you stopped by to read my story.
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Excellent writing. So much pain, expressed in language that leaves no room for explanation.
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Thanks so much for stopping by. Cheers and happy Sunday.
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I hope he takes it as he should and not as the kind of man he was…. maybe he can learn from this, but I doubt it.
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Maybe! Thanks.
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Beautifully written, Lish and so sad and frightening too. You can feel her dislike of what he has become, her need to be free of him and to free her children of the fear he causes. There’s a threat at the end too and I think he’d be wise to heed it. Well done
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Thanks, Lynn. He’d better beware.
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My pleasure Lish
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Powerful!
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Thanks!
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Great description and a sense of great fortitude. Nice one Alicia
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Thank you, Michael.
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Oh this is full of pain. So well written
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