See her? The gypsy?
Braid the color of broom straw?
Yes, her. A bundle of bones hung inside that velvet dress. Long ago it was probably blue or black. Maybe silver.
A giggle. Long ago.
The scent of mildew follows her everywhere.
Unpleasant at best.
Very.
Andrea hears the women. Isn’t affected. She sways beneath her ancient blue smock, recalling the days she danced by firelight, wearing gossamer gowns, while the women’s fathers clapped. Whistled. Became red-faced from whiskey.
Remembering the nights the men came to her lilac-scented tent, she winks a blue eye and wishes the women well.
That’s a generous portrait
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Not sure what you mean by that, but thanks.
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I mean I liked the empathy with which you described her
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The first part is good, the second part is better.
Wonderfully atmospheric.
And I liked Andrea.
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Thanks! I want to be her someday, maybe sans the men and tent part.
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Dear Lish,
You painted a vivid portrait of the dancer. Well choreographed.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks!
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An atmospheric look back at her golden time. Well written.
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I think she had fun. Thank you.
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Aging gracefully, even boldly, is never valued by the young, until they have to do it. Nice portrait.
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You are so right! Thanks.
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Beautifully crafted story, Alicia!
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Thank you! Some parts worked, others didn’t.
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Well done, nice take on the prompt!
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Thank you!
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You have some beautiful imagery and a strong character here.
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Thanks for your kind words.
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good for her. it looks like she’s aging gracefully.
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I think so. Thanks.
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I bet the giggling women don’t have half the fun she had in her youth!
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Right? Dancing in gossamer dresses sounds like a whole lot of fun!
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I like how I am allowed to share the past with Andrea, and smile too.
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I’m glad you like her! Thanks.
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Delightfully different, I could almost see her in my mind!
Here’s mine!
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Oh, good! Thanks, Keith.
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What a delightful story! I love the way you use the braid as the link to the photoprompt – very imaginative. I love the precision of “Braid the color of broom straw”
Your transition is masterly. “Andrea hears the women.” Suddenly, the woman has a name. You humanise her. From being a figure of fun, she becomes a living person. Then another lovely piece of technique: “She sways beneath her ancient blue smock”. The verb ‘sways’ links directly to the title, ‘The Dancer’, and makes her not just a living person, but a person with a history, a past, present and future.
Lish, this is lovely – you’ve written a gem of a story!
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Ah, Penny, you just made my day. I always appreciate your in-depth comments. They either validate what I’ve written or make me try to do better. Thanks so much.
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We tend to forget that the misfortunes of others could easily be ours and that someday we’ll all be old… if we’re lucky. Very well written.
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Thanks so much! I often think of my parents in before-me times. I have a wonderful picture of them in college, standing side-by-side in the snow. The smiles on their faces are radiant.
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I absolutely adored this one, Alicia! From beginning to end. Now that is grace…
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Thanks, Dale! What a wonderful compliment. Thanks for the great picture. I was wondering when Rochelle would use it. Glad it was chosen. Cheers!
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Great story that sounds so good read aloud.
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Wow! Thanks! I never think of others actually reading my stories out loud.
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Well now you know 🙂
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I dare say the young women who mock her won’t age with such aplomb. Nicely done! 🙂
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I agree!
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Great read. Enjoyed your descriptions.
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Thanks!
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A woman who is comfortable in her own skin at every stage of life is a rare and beautiful thing–at ANY stage of her life 🙂
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So true. I didn’t get there until I was in my mid-fifties. Thanks for reading.
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In my early teens, my skin was marked by acne. Took me a while to get past it. I think most of us can identify.
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Oh this is lovely. Not the gossips but the dancer. A gorgeous soul.
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Thank you, Laurie. I’m glad you like Andrea.
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Sort of creepy but somewhat empowering for women!
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Ha! I hadn’t thought of it as creepy but it kind of is.
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Interpretation is funny
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O.K.
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People often ask me, “Whatcha been doing?” I usually reply, “just mildewin'”
I loved this tale. Sometimes, when I’m people watching, or cleaning stones at the cemetery, I wonder what the person was like as a youth. What were their dreams, challenges, all the things that make us human.
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Thanks for this wonderful comment, not just because you liked what I wrote, but because you shared your actions and thoughts. Cleaning stones at the cemetery? Must do that someday. All our recently deceased are in Aberdeen, WA, and Loveland, CO. Except my parents who are in urns at my sister’s houses in Eckert, CO. The sisters live right next to each other and the urns travel from one house to the next. And I too watch people and wonder.
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I like the way the story moves from the external – a passer-by judging the gypsy woman, to the subjective , the gypsey ‘s memories. Both angles equally true. I like it.
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Thanks so much.
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I loved this Alicia, it set me to wanting to listen to Gypsies, tramps and thieves, by Cher.
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What fun!! I love that song.
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All life was here in this empathic story, which carried images into my mind.
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Thanks!
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Not
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Like this one , fits October quite well. BTW, I’m not on Fb anymore. They disabled my account. Why??? Haven’t a clue. Don’t care. Have other things to do.
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Thanks, Bear. Sorry FB keeps messing with you!
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Still trying to figure out how I’m a “subversive influence”… You’ve seen my posts. How is sewing subversive???
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