Town Sheriff

This morning I found out that one meaning of “forking” is to fork someone’s house instead of toilet papering it.  Perhaps a bit cleaner and easier to tidy up, but where does one find that many forks?  Anyway, here’s my contribution to Friday Fictioneers – 98 words.

“The Fork People visited last night.”

Leslie reddened.  “Sorry, Pappa.”

“You know as town sheriff I can’t allow that sort of thing at my own home.”

“No, Pappa.”  Just turned sixteen and still getting lectured.

“It’s fine at the Johsnon’s house or the Westfield’s.  Not here. Makes it look like my daughter’s a  sl … Well, just not here.”

“Right, Pappa.”

“So, what I want you to do, is go out and collect them.”

Leslie went outside and looked at all the beautiful forks sticking straight up in the grass

spelling “Joey loves Leslie” in shiny silver and gold.

 

Opposites Attract

My husband’s family tells stories about ailments with unfathomable enthusiasm. Colonoscopies, arthritis, trigger toe, prostate cancer and warts – nothing is too private to pass down the sister-brother telegraph line relaying maladies both large and small.
Fifteen years ago my mom had a cancerous breast removed and didn’t tell my sisters and me until a year, maybe two, later. For a month our dad nursed her. He alone monitored the drain tubes, fed her, and delivered medication while we daughters continued blithely on with our lives – oblivious to her discomfort. Her explanation? “I didn’t want to bother you.”
And that is what our family does. We keep ailments to ourselves.
On the other hand, my husband’s family laughs uproariously when they’re together, they play games and tease, remember the old days and look to the future. My family eats an entire dinner – including dessert – not speaking a word. That’s not to say we don’t have fun, we do. Out on the back porch Mom and Dad discuss books, the news, and who drove down the alley and took the broken stove Mr. Jenkins tossed out on Monday. On the front porch Dad points to the “fairy rings” in the lawn and asks Mom if they were there yesterday.
Of course, three hours may pass between these conversations.
In silence.
So, it must be true. Opposites attract.