I wrote 97-some words this morning, saved them, and went off to teach my aerobics class, expecting to do a last minute edit when I returned. Meanwhile, my husband hit a “random” button that deleted my story. Ah, well, round two. Thanks, Rochelle, for posting this thought-provoking picture taken by Dale Rogerson.
When you walked out
a tangle of thorns encased my heart
creating minuscule fissures and tears
that bled memories, hopes, and dreams
Time
that’s all it took
years and years of time
but I have
at last
healed
The pits and gashes slowly filled
with the sound of laughter
gifts of river-worn pebbles
faded sand dollars
and small winsome smiles
Now, if my mind dares to whisper
You still love him, seek him out
My heart roars
If you do I will quit you!
For I only beat
in order to protect the child
he left behind!
95-words
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Up From the Ashes 
That’s powerful writing, Alicia. An invocation to herself
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Thanks, Neil.
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Wow! That was fantastic – so beautifully written and thought provoking.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Thank you, Susan. The first thing I thought of was thorns when I saw the picture. Then what??? I appreciate your stopping by. Alicia
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I hope your husband didn’t get into too much trouble! The 2nd version is pretty good anyway 🙂
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Not too much. Just a “What the heck?” and a slammed drawer or two. Thanks, Iain.
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So frustrating, to lose your first story. But you came up with a great second option!
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Thanks, Joy! It’s the same idea, only different….
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It never comes out quite the same way the second time, does it? But maybe better.
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Love that last stanza of resistance… some bridges should remain burned.
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Oh, yes indeed, Bjorn. Thank goodness I only have one bridge I’m very glad to have burned.
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Only a few drawer slams? Lucky man…
That said, can’t speak for the original 97 words, but these ones are absolutely wonderful!
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Ah, thanks, Dale. Luckily, through the years I’ve learned to manage my Irish temper. Otherwise, things would have been broken. Cheers!
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Then ‘Tis a good thing!
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What a lovely, impactful story. Just beautiful.
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Thanks very much.
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Powerful and beautifully written. Sorry about the demise of the first draft!
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Thanks on both counts. Happy Holidays to you.
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There’s a quiet strength and determination to the words here, Alicia. Very wel done.
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Thanks. That mind over heart, heart over mind stuff creates a real quandary, doesn’t it?
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Dear Lish,
There are certain things I do not share with my husband. A computer is one of them. 😉 At any rate, what you’ve posted is powerful and beautifully written. Love it.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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After my simple tantrum, he grumbled, “I’ll just never touch the computer again!” Ha! I do love his efforts though. Lesson learned to save a logout. Thanks for enjoying my work. Shalom to you, Lish
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The pits and gashes slowly filled
with the sound of laughter
gifts of river-worn pebbles
faded sand dollars
and small winsome smiles
Beautiful, Lish. Just lovely images, perfectly chosen words and a sweet, lilting rhythm to the language. Gorgeous.
I’m curious – did you think the second version worked best or are you frustrated because you remember the 1st as better?
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Thanks for a lovely comment, Lynn. In answer to your question, it’s a mambo-combo. I thought the first was nicely done, but after my “mad” I think the second one is better.
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Sometimes the first rush captures something spontaneous and special – then the next write hones the idea down to its core. This was lvely though
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I always enjoy your poetic words. This took more than one time through for me to get the complete picture, and it was well worth it.
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Thanks very much for taking the time to read the piece twice. That means a lot. Cheers, Lish
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glad she was able to move on. fantastic.
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Thank you so much.
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That is a beautiful poem, Alicia. I love it all, but, like Lynn, I would have picked out the stanza
‘The pits and gashes slowly filled
with the sound of laughter
gifts of river-worn pebbles
faded sand dollars
and small winsome smiles’
That’s simply lovely.
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Thank you so much! Cheers and happy holidays.
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Wow, that was powerful and beautifully done. Great writing, Lish.
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I always appreciate your stopping by. Thanks, Russell. Merry Christmas!
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A very nice and very powerful poem. Brilliantly done.
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Thank you!
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Beautiful poem – and get your own laptop with a ‘Don’t touch’ label on the lid!
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Oh!!!! Good idea!
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Enjoyed it! Perhaps, we are glad your husband deleted the first?
Scott
Mine: https://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2017/12/11/fall-of-our-discontent/
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You might be right. Thanks.
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Poignant and powerful. Great images evoked. Loved the heart talking and the threat at the end.
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Thanks, Irene! Happy Holidays!
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Lovely, Alicia. It seems the child has made up for the absence of the father. Good writing. It’s poetic. —- Suzanne
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Thank you, Susan. I always appreciate your stopping by
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How beautiful! Absolutely loved this piece!
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Thanks so very much! Alicia
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Quite lovely.
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Thank you, Dawn. Happy Holidays!
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Same to you Alicia!
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