Shamar’s Thirteenth Birthday

Posted: December 28, 2016 in Friday Fictioneers
Tags: , , , ,

Shaktiki Sharma provided this thought-provoking picture for this week’s 100 word Friday Fictioneer prompt. And, as always, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields posted it for our merry band. Thanks to you both.

shaktiki-2

Mind whirring, Shamar jangled two quarters,
bus money Mama handed him saying,
“Don’t come back ’til 3:00. Need me some time.”
“I’m a man now,” Shamar thought, stepping aboard the bus
from N.Y. to Chicago.
“She won’t never see me again.”

“5:00! Where is that child?”
Tanisha asked the current man in her life.
He shrugged.
Balloons hung everywhere.
A HAPPY BIRTHDAY banner snapped on the lawn.
Tanisha drifted to Shamar’s room
doing the same thing,
hoping for a different result.

And for the first time, she saw the note.
“Take this $100 and get the hell out.
Your mama don’t need you no more.”

(102 words)

 

Advertisements
Comments
  1. Dear Alicia,

    Obviously the man in Tanisha’s life isn’t worth the paper he wrote the note on. I hope Shamar will find his way. Gritty, heartbreaking story.

    Shalom

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  2. neilmacdon says:

    Poor Shamar. I guess he’ll make his way home again. A hundred doesn’t go far

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dahlia says:

    I do hope Tanisha finds him – poor boy. Great story.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sandra says:

    That kind of hit me hard. Well done, Alicia.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I hope Tanasha learns to find herself alone… maybe one day her son will be back.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Rea Ann Loomis says:

    Wow, you need to publish these…find other pictures to match since there might be the copyright issue…your writing is fantastic!

    Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Michael Wynn says:

    Well he’s a truly nasty piece of work, I hope she’s strong enough to get rid of him and find her son and apologise/explain.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Lynn Love says:

    Shamar almost sounds younger than his 13 years from his voice and that’s really scary for his prospects in the big city. He’ll be so vulnerable there alone, bless him. This is so sad, so real. Let’s hope he can be saved. Great story Alicia

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Wow, that packed a punch! Hope she kicks the current man out and finds her son.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. draliman says:

    It sounds like out of all the “wrong” men mum’s been dating, this one’s the “wrongest”. Imagine her horror at finding that note,

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Wow! The current man will soon be the man of ancient history unless I miss my guess.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Dale says:

    Oh that stung awfully bad! I’m hoping Mama is smart enough to get rid of that awful man in her life… oh the damage he has caused and sadly, the boy believed…

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Ouch! Some kids have all the luck, don’t they?

    Like

  14. wmqcolby says:

    That old theme of “ain’t never gonna come back” is always a good one. It’s more complicated (naturally) than what it appears to be. And, I’m sure someone’s going to get the comeuppance.

    Very descriptive without being obvious, very entertaining. Super work, Alicia. I like the poetic-type format.

    Five out of five “By The Time I Get To Phoenixes.” 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  15. That man sure is a bad man. Even if Shamar’s mama finds him, it will be hard to convince him to return as he won’t be able to un-remember that note. I love the authenticity of the characters’ “voices”. It takes one right inside their heads, plus it gives such a forward momentum and rhythm to your writing.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Great sting in the tail of this story, Alicia. Poor Shamar

    Liked by 1 person

  17. This one really shook me, Lish. Such a sad but often true story, for so many kids. Such a sad misunderstanding! Great seeing you recently… not sure why it’s so hard, when we connect weekly, here. 😉 Happy New Year!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. OMG…you got me right in the mamma feels :/

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s